Ramblings of a Restless Mind

23 - Ramblings of a Restless Mind
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[00:00:00]

Jen: What's up? All you, ghouls and goblins. Hopefully yous. Survived Halloween and don't have diabetes now. What's up?

DeJah: Good tidings.

Jen: Well, you know, it is officially November so I guess Thanksgiving will be here before we know it. Know it's Christmas, right? Yes. And happy 2026. Yes. Yes, yes. Oh [00:01:00] man. We hope you guys had a fantastic Halloween. We, well, I'm not gonna speak for Joe, but for me and my wonderful illustrious. Magnanimous comedic relief nonstop.

I'm just nodding my head Yes. I don't know. THC filled Co-host also accurate, also known as

DeJah: Deja. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Yes, yes.

Jen: We happen to love Halloween. Mm-hmm. And we just had a blast dressed up as anchorman, so. Well,

DeJah: we are anchorman. We're not recording this before.

Jen: No, absolutely not.

Joe: We we hosted the cul-de-sacs Halloween thing where we have a big fire pit in the driveway and everybody makes chili.

DeJah: Oh,

Joe: damn. Oh, that's fun. We don't give kids candy though. That's not something we do. Nice.

Jen: Well, we, so my family, you know, they have a camper we talked about when? Glamping before.

Mm-hmm. And so we there is a Yogi Bear or campground in borough here. In North Car, yeah. In North Carolina. Close to the zoo. And in the back of it, there's this quad site. So. [00:02:00] We, over the last couple of years, we have commandeered more friends and family to, so we, we filled up the quad site and so they have a contest every year.

Sadly we didn't win but we had a smoke machine or like fog machine that we all dressed up. It's a whole thing. And then we also have one one of the people that joins us, she, a couple years ago when we did this, she had jello shots. And word got around to all of the adults that our campsite had jello shots.

And so we got less and less kids and more and more adults trick or treating. But we were like, they were like, we heard you have treats for adults. So yeah, it's a good time. It's a whole thing. They have like a, I mean the Yogi Bear camp, like grounds, they know how to do it up. There's a huge one out in like the Asheville area and the mountains and stuff, but

Joe: has anybody done like THC jello shots yet?

Seems like it'd be pretty easy to do. That sounds like something Daious Ali fo show.

Jen: I don't really, so when you say THC jello shots, is it van the vodka

Joe: just, and then just put in like some, I don't know. Yeah. Put the vodka. I really get it messed up. I have [00:03:00] not, I have

DeJah: not seen it. It's, it's literally the same theoretically as a gummy.

Yeah, it's just less gelatin. So it's more wiggly, but more woo-hoo. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, you could very easily especially since you can get in powder form now, right? So you could just individually, you could dose each individual one, you know? Yeah.

Joe: One of these has way too much. That's s,

Jen: that'd be the one that I would actually stumble upon and then I'd be drooling on myself.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sleeping with my eyes open. Oh yeah. Well, we hope that you guys all had a safe and fun Halloween. If you don't sell, have Celebrate Halloween, whatever. Happy fall. Yeah. Fall Festival, tricked, trunk, whatever. Listen, respect your choices. I just don't agree with them. How hard is that? Two our, see what I just did there.

Two. Our Wicked

DeJah: Friends. Happy holidays.

Jen: Yes. Mm-hmm. Hello Eve. That's right. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What was [00:04:00] your fa, what's been your favorite costume? Aside from dressing up as brick from Anchorman,

DeJah: my favorite costume that I have worn. Yeah. I have made, or I have, I I have worn. That you've worn

Jen: that you've dressed up as?

Yeah.

DeJah: Oh man. 'Cause I love Halloween, so I've had many, many, a costume Boy, I. I think my favorite of all time, I was a butterfly when I was a kid. I had glorious giant wings.

Jen: That's fantastic. Mm-hmm.

DeJah: Yep.

Jen: What kind of wings were they? Were they like. You're destined. Very colorful, or like Yeah,

DeJah: my mom had handmade them.

Wow. Were like, that's impressive. I can't, I mean, they looked exactly, she made 'em from monarch's wings. Like she had patterned them to look exactly like monarchs wings. They were fabulous. Wow. Yeah. That is very cool. Yes. I, I don't have that DNA. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's where I got the I love making costumes and party stuff, because I was gonna say, my favorite costume I've ever made was for my ex-husband, and I made [00:05:00] him into a jackass.

Was actual, is he still wearing? It was actual donkey. He had an ass that you could actually use as a table. It I made him versatile.

Joe: At least you're gonna be useful for once

DeJah: jazz. Yes.

Jen: Now you get it. That is fantastic. Wow. Joe, do you still dress up at all?

Joe: Yeah, this year I win a sexy Mr. Rogers? Yes.

Cardigan, knee socks, lingerie. You know, just

DeJah: speaking to my fantasies, cardigan, knee, socks, lingerie. You just walk up to all the houses in the neighborhood. Hey there, neighbor?

Joe: Yeah. Kids are giving me weird looks, man.

DeJah: I bet. Just kids, huh? You just constantly sitting

Joe: down and changing your shoes. All of us.

Yep. Changing the sweater. Changing your shoes. Take it out on the sweater. Putting on a different sweater. That's right. Hanging up the sweater, grabbing a, another sweater.

Jen: Ugh. I feel like I went more hard in the paint with costumes in college. Mm-hmm. I dressed up as like Green Ivy one time. Mm-hmm. We did, a whole group of us did like [00:06:00] a DC themed kind of deal and I like, I got this green dress from, I think it was on sale, like massive sale from Express.

'cause if I was in college, couldn't afford really no express prices. And then I went and got like, the fake ivy from. Michael's or some shit. And I picked all the leaves off and then I One by one glued. Oh yeah. The leaves like up the green dress with, and then put some jewels on there. And then I handmade from like, the little foam sheets like, like, green, like a mask piece.

Uhhuh? Yeah. Oh, it had these gloves. Oh. And then. One friend was a joker, so we were, we did a social media post. We were like, everyone's green with envy, and we thought we were cute. We had my ex at, at the time, he was, well, he was not my ex at the time, and my ex now. Mm-hmm. He was two-faced, but we spent like hours on his makeup, like on half of his face.

Oh yeah. There was somebody that was Bain and he nailed it. It was crazy. That's amazing.

DeJah: Now I hate, I hate that. My, my most fun costume memory is the. Now, technically the worst costume I've ever made [00:07:00] because I thought Donald Trump was a joke. Oh. And so before the, the first time he ran, I dressed up as down as Donald Trump so that I could just go around grabbing pussy.

I just wanted to sexually harass all my friends. I think it was, it was, it was

Joe: accurate though. 'cause I think even at that time he thought it was a joke. Yeah. Like he thought it was a joke. So

DeJah: I, I had a great night just being raunchy. Right. Just. Me turned to an 11 and what's,

Jen: and what's crazy is that people were just like completely okay and like.

Loved, like soaked it up because Yeah. '

DeJah: cause we all thought it was a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yep. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Yeah. Didn't age well. Did not, not age well. No. No. I, yeah. Yes. Everyone there is pictures of me there. It's true. It's true. Was the wig heavy? Oh yes. The cof is quite a thing to manage.

Yeah. Yeah. How orange

Jen: was your skin?

DeJah: Oh. I turned it up to construction. Yeah. Uhhuh. [00:08:00] Uhhuh. Yeah. Love that. Yep. Yeah.

Jen: What else did I do? I did, went as well, I guess this was like grad school when I was in Greenville. You know, there was all, 'cause Greenville is where ECU is, is east Carolina University.

For those that aren't familiar we do have listeners all over the world. So I do feel like I need

DeJah: to explain these things. We wanna say that one that's absolutely amazing from the bottom of our soul. Two, it still seems weird. Yeah. That we, that anyone listens to us at all, right? Yeah. We're just not in here doing this for each other.

I guess like I, yeah, yeah.

Jen: Mm-hmm. Well, we were, I'll never forget, like after one of our first episodes came out, I think it was our very first, like full episode when we had Kara on here. Mm-hmm. Your business partner and it aired and we were glamping Yeah. With, with the parentals and we're all listening

DeJah: to it together and we just.

Felt so exposed. Yes. To listen with someone else listening to it. We were just like, oh, no one's supposed to listen to this. Right, right. God. But it is. It is nice. 'cause every time somebody does like. [00:09:00] They laugh with us, right? Yes. We, we know we're funny. Yeah. We make each other laughs and that's all we care about.

Yes. But we, the validation is real. Yeah. So we do deeply appreciate each and every one of you. Yes. And

Jen: it is like, especially after, 'cause I do try to go back and listen to our episodes because you, we've, like we've said a million times and we'll keep on saying, you know, we batch record, so we record more than one episode at a time.

And so by the time we're done, like. Our tongues and our brains are numb. Yeah. Like, we are done. We are spent. And so we forget half of what we said. And so when I go back and listen to it, and I am cackling Yeah. By myself all over again, like, it's, it's very fantastic. So thank you. Yes. For seriously, thank you for everyone that's for laughing.

Laughing with us.

DeJah: Yeah. That's

Jen: listening and laughing. Mm-hmm. Or judging. It's fine. And we,

DeJah: yeah. We hope you had a hilarious costume. That empowered you to grab some pussy. Yep, yep.

Jen: I dressed up as

DeJah: short turn

Jen: Woo. With consent. Oh, oh, of course. Absolutely. Not Trump style. No. And I dressed up as an undertaker Oh, nice.

From wrestling one time me. Yeah.

DeJah: I did that out promoting the firm one [00:10:00] night,

Jen: one time in BNI. You dressed up as the undertaker. Oh. Because you guys don't you remember that? Sorry guys. I just got it. If you haven't listened, if you fast forward through the commercial, which you shouldn't, because their slogan is fantastic and very heartfelt it's true.

They, they work with probate and estate, so whenever someone passes away, so Deisha dressing up as the undertaker

DeJah: because we happen to have our, our b and i networking meeting on it was like on Halloween. Mm-hmm. And so, yeah, I dressed up as. And I had a sickle. I was like, listen, we're all gonna die. We gotta make fun of it, man.

Like, you know, we can't change like this. We can't laugh at it. Like,

Jen: come on now, might as well embrace it. Exactly.

DeJah: [00:11:00] Oh, and then

Jen: of course, in the younger college days, there were the sex positive costumes. Oh

DeJah: boy. Oh hell, yes. How many times I was a. Sexy angel sexy,

Jen: which really just meant, let me see how many clothes I can get away with not wearing.

Yep. Ah, or how tight, how tight can this be? Yes. How [00:12:00] bad can It's

Joe: still going on. I was shopping on Amazon today to buy a memory card. 'cause I'm an old man with regular hobbies. Memory card. And for

DeJah: yourself or for a device? I

Joe: need it for a device. Okay. It's just a memory card. So I'm on Amazon, I'm looking for memory cards.

It's like continue shopping and on the bottom it's all these like. Terrible Halloween costumes that my daughters in college are looking at. Yes, yes.

Jen: We, me and my friends, gosh, what year was it? Our junior year, I think we dressed up as I don't wanna say slutty, but here we are slutty scantily

DeJah: dressed village people.

Mm. I had a red suede. Little Red Riding Hood custom made outfit. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Naughty by nature. Yeah. Yeah. Uhhuh. Yeah.

Jen: Yep. Which, okay, which I'm gonna ask you both before I reveal. Which village person do you think I was,

Joe: Construction worker.

Jen: I don't even think that's one of 'em. So no veterinarian, there's not a construction worker?

No. [00:13:00] You've got the police officer, you've got the cowboy, the, the Native American gentleman because apparently that's some occupation. Yes.

DeJah: Was there a doctor? Maybe there was

Jen: a construction worker. I'm sorry? I think there was a construction

Joe: worker. I'm looking, yes. I'm going through the, I'm really sure.

It looks like he's an electrician actually. He's

Jen: got a very much,

Joe: and it's got an electric bolt on it. Okay. Actually, as I was going back

Jen: through my friends, as they were dressed up, there is something along those lines. It didn't, it, it involved a wife beater. He's

Joe: got a screwdriver in his mouth. That's the official album cover.

That makes sense?

Jen: Mm-hmm. Okay. So read them all back to us. They're, you got a

Joe: cowboy? Yes. A cop, a sailor. A really weird electrician,

Jen: construction. A gc, a general contractor. Yes. We'll go with that.

Joe: Lot of chest hair. An angry first Nations gentleman

DeJah: again. Yeah. Like what is what? That's not an occupation.

I was always like, my guys like, what's with the random, it seems

Joe: like maybe Freddie Mercury dressed in a period costume as if he were a Nazi. [00:14:00]

DeJah: No, that, that checks Okay. Maybe it's a pilot.

Joe: Maybe it's a pilot.

DeJah: Could be sexy pilot. Mm-hmm. All right. So who was I? Yep, you were absolutely sexy. Cowboy Joe.

Joe: Cop

Jen: Daja.

Nailed it. I was the cowboy. I had the chap, I had the chaps and all. Very nice. Yep. Excellent. Excellent. Oh yeah. What, what? The village, he has an electrical bolt on his. The helmet thing. Yeah. So, yeah, he had to be an electrician, I guess. Yes.

Joe: It was shocking. He's a poll worker cus Oh, there you go. Why is it everything for Halloween has to be made sexy?

You just can't leave anything alone. No. Mm-hmm.

Jen: I will say the person that did that, I think, gosh, memories are a little hazy. Mm-hmm. But I do think she, she, I know that she has some indigenous people. Mm-hmm. Where [00:15:00] are we going with this? I don't know. Well, because thinking of her dressing up as a, as the Native American character.

Oh yes, yes.

DeJah: She was forced to do it. 'cause she had pretty much, she didn't have a choice. Mm-hmm. We're like, nobody else can appropriate that sis. Nope. Nope. That's all you. Yeah. She

Jen: also looked very Selma, so she just had tan skin.

DeJah: Yeah. That's funny. But yeah. And sexy, anything. Oh, I'm a sexy walnut. Mm-hmm.

Joe: I'm a sexy Roomba.

I just lay on the floor. Yeah. Uhhuh spin around.

DeJah: That's the end of the night, Joe. Yeah.

Jen: Yeah. What else? I did the sexy, like the, so we were all supposed to be, we like, you know, girls like to do things in groups, including going to the bathroom. And so we were all like little fairytale characters. Hmm. So I was, I really don't even know which one I was.

I just, I was like, I look more like the Sam Adams girl than, than lady like, or the St. Paul, whatever it is. The two beerstein, Paul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Than than a nursery rhyme or fairytale person. But that's fine. Whatever. Here we are. [00:16:00] Yeah.

Joe: All right. If I describe the costume, do you think you guys can name the sexy.

If I just give you a description, then you could guess what sexy it is. We're gonna

DeJah: find out what sexy it is. Let's give it a whirl.

Joe: So here you go. For, for the brave soul who looked at the bathroom door and thought this could be hotter, you wear brown span, brown spandex, body suit. Cheeky cut comes with built-in bad decisions,

Jen: a deer.

Like root or like a brown body suit. Brown body cheek body suit. Cheeky cut. So means your A is out. Yeah.

DeJah: You look at a bathroom door. Oh, at a bathroom door. I didn't know if that was part of it to yourself. It was part of it. You could make this. Sexier. Oh, are you a glory hole?

What is that? If it wasn't, it's now.

Joe: No. But you win. It's sexy poop emoji.

DeJah: What the fuck? Would somebody wanna make a poop emoji sexy?

Joe: I don't know. Have you seen the the SNL Digital [00:17:00] short sushi Glory Hole? Have you seen that? Mm, it's a whole song. Like, you know, they do the goofy songs. Oh yeah. The prerecorded ones. And every time they show somebody going to a Glory Hall, somebody just Pieces.

Oh pieces. Oh yes, I have seen that. Oh my god. Sushi Glory. That's their business idea. They're trying to pitch it like on Shark Tank. Oh, that's funny. All right, here's another one. Guess the sexy costume. Okay. Stay germ free and morally questionable. In a clear vinyl dress, a pump top hat that kills 99 9 0.9% of your self-respect.

Jen: Hand sanitizer? Yes.

Joe: Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't say sexy hand. Hand sanitizer. I'm sorry. Sexy hand sanitizer. Uhhuh. Mm-hmm. Alright. Half New York meme half nightmare fuel. This tutu tail and slice shaped crop top. No subway tokens included.

Jen: Slice tail cropped. Oh, two, two. All that makes me think of is I'm like Swan Lake, but I, I'm thinking Harley Quinn.

Joe: So the half New York meme, half nightmare fuel was the clue here. So it's sexy pizza rat.

DeJah: Ah, [00:18:00] oh yes, yes,

Joe: absolutely.

DeJah: All right. Shake that tail. We'll do, we'll do one more. Well, yeah, like two, two more.

They're funny. Okay.

Joe: Alright. Happy little accidents, but make it risque. Comes with an Afro wig, plunging Neckline, an optional body paint kit. Trees not included.

DeJah: Bob Ross. Oh, boss Ross. Yes. I'm sorry. Sexy. Sexy. Bob Ross. Come on. Alright,

Joe: last one. Triple or score Triple word points in poor taste. Letters attached via Velcro.

To provide you with questionable words. Warning towels may fall off. Fall off. Midd dance. Sexy Scrabble. That's right. Yeah.

DeJah: I was gonna go sexy. Vanna White. So sexy

Jen: Scrabble. I don't sexy Vanna White.

Joe: That's redundant.

Jen: Did you actually press the button? 'cause I didn't hear

Joe: it. Oh,

DeJah: there is.

Go. That's right. That's right. The de Oh, yes. Well, listen, whether I think that next [00:19:00] year what we should, we should have a Halloween competition for the stupidest, sexy costume. I'm here for it. I, I think there should be our thing. I think we should get Mom and Steve involved as well. A hundred. Everyone. A hundred percent.

I think we should show, we should throw party. The dudes can get in on it too. Yep. The, the dumbest or weirdest sexy costume party. Sexy

Joe: hamburger helper hand.

DeJah: Damn. Straight. Oh, sexy. Flip flop.

Joe: Meow.

Jen: Yeah. Sexy toilet plunger. Let's go. Mm-hmm. It's wearing a thong.

Joe: That

Jen: flip flop. Yeah, baby. Ooh. Yeah. It's, but which, which way

DeJah: keeps him guessing.

Jen: Oh. Okay, well I have to follow up because when I do the social medias sometimes I prompt our, I'm tangled up in this, get this together over here, Joe. Sorry, I was tangled up in a cord and I had to figure it out. Had a moment.

DeJah: Stand by while she unwinds herself from the equipment. Yes,

Jen: and we're back.

We'll post things on social media [00:20:00] about our episode, so if you don't follow us. On our social media, please don't shame. Do so. Shame how dare shame. Now that being said, we're not on Facebook. 'Cause I do have a full-time job and other things to do. But on Instagram we are ramblings of a restless mind pod on Instagram.

So please go follow us. But all that to say, sometimes I pose questions and sometimes people actually respond. And several episodes ago we were Joe posed the question, what's the Pettiest Hill? We've ever died on. And we got a couple of responses. And so, and, and they're pretty great. But Joe, you, didn't you say that you were recently feeling a little petty?

I am,

Joe: I'm very petty about something.

Jen: Tell us what you're petty about, Joe.

Joe: I'm, I'm, I'm very, I'm more upset than I should be about this stupid thing. It's okay. So I paid the money to get NFL Sunday ticket, which is, might as well be a million dollars. Yes. Whatever they charge for that nonsense crap on YouTube.

And then I don't get all the games. Like if you want, so this is where I'm gonna get super petty. If you wanna watch like the [00:21:00] Sunday night game, you gotta have ESPN, but not the SPN that comes with Hulu, like a different kind of ESPN that you gotta log in with a provider. Thursday night football's on Amazon Prime, local one's on Thursday night or on Peacock or CBS, but you got Paramount.

And if it's not the one you want, you're screwed. You can't do it. So I gave him all this money and I can't even watch the FRI games. I wanna watch.

Jen: Yes. Are you a Lions fan?

Joe: I am okay. That's why I can't watch any games

Jen: because poor thing. But

Joe: they're finally doing okay. Like they're, yeah, you see 'em every once in a while now.

But yeah, previously that you can never see that

Jen: that whole situation is a racket. Like, oh, of course. My brother was actually recently talking about that. 'cause he used to work for Spectrum and then was bought by Charter, so it's charter spectrum, whatever. And so working for the company, he got spec. I mean, you know, perks.

Through spectrum. And so, but now when he left to go to a different cable company, provider, whatever, internet, whatever, I don't know all this, whatever, doesn't matter. He obviously lost the spectrum perks. And so he has through, he has [00:22:00] YouTube, like TV stuff. And so then he has the. He has the the Sunday ticket as well, and I'm on his family plan.

Mm-hmm. 'cause it doesn't cost him any extra for me to be on there. Mm-hmm. So I do reap the rewards of that. That's fantastic. Shout out Jeremy. Thank you.

DeJah: Yeah, also shout out Jeremy. Thanks for that too. 'cause I went ahead and canceled my Disney, my Hulu, and my Paramount out of protest against them canceling both Colbert and Kim also.

Now I can still go over to Jen's house again. Thanks Jeremy. Yeah.

Jen: Yep. So, but he was talking about that, about like how many now different streaming services. Now granted, like I've kind of joked on here before, like. And, and I love this about them. This is not a knock. And I've said this to them, like their love language is, is watching shows.

'cause they, they will be like, have you seen this? And I'm like, I didn't know it existed. You know? But, and, and I also love that they love to watch TV because it means that I have access to these different things. Anyway, so it is such a racket, like the, especially with football and Abby since they have moved it around.

Mm-hmm. Everybody wanted a piece of the pie. Yeah. You know, you wanna

Joe: watch the Christmas game, you gotta have [00:23:00] Netflix. Like it's never, you have to own everything. Right. Which, the Christmas game, that's the max out version

Jen: of the plan. The Christmas game was the Beyonce Bowl. Let's be real. Right. I don't even remember who played it was the Lions, I think.

Exactly.

I know The Chiefs played on Christmas. Oh shoot, that's, well, I had to be, was it the Chiefs and the Texans? Maybe. 'cause she, you know, she's from Texas. Yes. She's from Houston. So

Joe: I think she was. Somebody's Southern for sure.

Jen: Oh yeah. I think it was Houston. Yeah, that, yeah. Anyway, to your point, I mean that's fair.

Be petty about that, Joe. So whatcha gonna do about it? I'm just gonna pay the bill,

DeJah: keep it moving. Just grumble her rump the whole time. See, I'd be, I'd be doing the math on like. Well, is there like a package that I could just singular buy and the cost of like, you know Yeah. Circumventing them, but it's almost impossible 'cause it is an absolute fucking racket.

Yeah. Nobody,

Joe: and you can't buy fricking cable anymore. Mm-hmm. That doesn't exist in the way that it used to. Mm-hmm.

Jen: Or the price from it, so. Well, thank you Joe. Like we're here for you. Yeah, I, okay. [00:24:00] Yeah. Are you sure? Do, do you? I can, can't tell you how

Joe: many times I've made like, like a $5 sports bet and then I can't watch the game and I'm like, well, I just wasted $5, so I dunno how to do it here.

DeJah: Not, not all the money you're spending on all of the streaming services. That's

Joe: terrible. About $5. That's, that's, that's an investment. Yeah.

Jen: Well, my fantasy football team has completely shut the bed so far this year, so I wasted 40 in getting in that, that. League sad. Not salty about it at all. No, not at all.

It's fine. Not at all. So, well, one listener that we'll discuss that came back and said. I left a tip that was nothing but change for a server upside down under a glass of water on a plate. Fuck.

DeJah: What the

Jen: fuck did

DeJah: they do to you?

Jen: So I had to message them back because as a former server, like I would, I,

DeJah: I got mad.

That was my first, I got mad. That was my response. Yeah. So what, what did this server do? Did you wash some shit in your food?

Jen: Did that, is that what happened? It's gotta be like something that, it's gotta be on a

DeJah: level

Jen: of. There were definitely, let me see if I can go back to it. 'cause it there, it was [00:25:00] a delayed response, but I did get it.

Joe: Took eight minutes to get my french fries.

Jen: No, it was not that. 'Cause I responded back with what's the service that shitty 'cause that's exactly where I went to. 'cause there was, I had one table I used to work at Outback and I had a table that left me like pennies in tip.

And I was like at that point, fucking keep it right Because there was nothing than me, man. There was nothing wrong with their food. Yeah. There was nothing wrong with their service. Like in my mind. Been there anyway. So, they responded with, yes, they ignored us and never took our order, but they were jumping all to a bunch of different tables, like jumping to other tables.

Joe: Mm. But tips are a reward for service. Well done. Just don't leave one, don't tip. Right?

Jen: Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I, yeah, but I think if that was the point in being so petty and like, I'm gonna leave you a tip for like, I,

DeJah: that makes me think. You weren't a server. 'cause you know your server ain't cleaning your fucking table.

That's that God damn poor buser that's gotta go over there and clean up that shit. Try didn't that Buser didn't do shit to you, man. Yeah,

Joe: I think. Okay. I have another thing I'm petty about now that we're talking about

DeJah: a can worm.

Jen: Get it. [00:26:00] This is a therapy session for Joe. Let's

Joe: go. I'm getting older and I got stuff to be petty about now.

Yes, that's right. When did people start asking for tips for stuff that don't deserve tips?

DeJah: Oh yeah. It's all over now. That's only American. You go pick up your own food. It's American.

Joe: It's

DeJah: only us. Yeah. It's our bizarre culture of not paying our employees. So we put, corporations are totally happy to beg for you to pay their employees.

Joe: Now I'll be clear, I got no problem with a tip jar. Put a tip jar out, great. Mm-hmm. If I fail a tip, then I'll tip. That's fantastic. But when you pay with a card mm-hmm. And you have to say no tip. Yes. Like you have to like admit I'm not being generous in front of

DeJah: them. They put it up on a screen

Joe: and they make you flip a little screen around and they're like, but I'm like, you didn't do nothing.

Yep. You, you did the, you're the cashier. Mm-hmm.

Jen: I, I called it in, I drove here. I'm picking it up. Like

DeJah: I had one I'd ordered ordered online and the, the amount of like, questions I had to get through. Do you wanna tip the kitchen? Do you wanna tip the fuck? I'm like, this is fucking pickup food. [00:27:00] No one is helping me do shit.

Just cook the fucking food that I'm paying you way too much for because everything costs a shit ton of money now. No, I'm a hundred percent with you. Yeah, that the shaming every time you go to like a Starbucks. Right. Yeah, you give, you have to get past that screen tip of the tipping. And my favorite is they usually hold it at an angle so you can't see it.

Jen: Yeah.

DeJah: In the sunlight. Right. So you're doing this whole like, oh, oh Leo, press this button here and like, oh God. Yeah.

Joe: Yeah. Lady Fish. You guys, have you seen the new okay. So I went to Alamo Draft House. Me and my daughter went and saw that new Leonardo Capra movie pretty good. Okay. Not the point of the story.

We ate food, it was fine. Pretty good food for a movie theater and enjoyed everything. Yeah, I do have lot of food.

Jen: Yeah.

Joe: And I'm going to sign the check, you know, and it's like an appropriate price for two people. Mm-hmm. And so I'm doing it and I'm doing the tip. And then I realize they already put, they already tip 18%.

Yep.

DeJah: Yep. You have to watch that party two. Yep. You have to watch that. So

Joe: I like scribble,

DeJah: scribble, scribble, scrm. Mm-hmm. 0, 0, 0.

Jen: [00:28:00] Yeah. I was going to add to this and the, oh, but you know who I do tip? Is that DoorDash driver or Oh yeah. The Uber Eats or Uber. Oh. Oh God. If you deliver my

DeJah: food hot, you will be rewarded.

Oh, I, first of all, I'm just gonna automatically put 20% on their enemy. No what? No matter what I do. But if I get my food hot, you are gonna get some cash. But

Joe: those guys deserve a tip. So that's, that's the thing. They drove you, they did something for you. I'm paying. It was

Jen: an action taken. No, I'm paying twi literally twice as much for the food itself, but for my laziness and convenience.

Yes. But but yeah, but thank you for that tip.

Joe: Totally makes sense to me. Like mm-hmm. You brought this to my house, so I didn't actually have to leave my couch, but I,

DeJah: I, I, unfortunately, as a single individual order food delivered a lot. And so I always put 20 because I don't wanna do more for the.

Fucking number of times I've watched my food travel all the way around Raleigh. For hours. Yeah. Before, hours before it arrives to my house. Right. And that time just keeps getting pushed back [00:29:00] on when it's coming, right? Yeah. So I'm like you're not gonna get me. Ever had the

Joe: DoorDash guy text you like, I'm waiting for your food and you can see his car, and you're like, no, you're not.

Fuck yes. I'm like, no, you're, I'm washing you.

DeJah: Yes, yes. Oh, absolutely. Especially when you're hungry.

Joe: Yes. Get up waiting an hour for your food to be delivered from the McDonald's that's. 400 feet away from

DeJah: you. Exactly. If your lazy ass would've just got up. It's true. It's so true. So true. And now

Jen: one thing I'm thankful for for COVID is the whole like, just leave the food on the front porch.

Yep. Like, I don't wanna come talk to you, I don't wanna interact. This is why I ordered food to be delivered, because I want minimal effort, and that includes being a human being towards you. So leave that shift. Oh, wasn't that, was it?

DeJah: Were we, was it in Colorado when they came to the door and they kept Yeah, it was, we were in Colorado.

We were in Denver and they were delivering pizza. And we didn't realize that they were at the door because we were so used to just having the contactless delivery. Why do I not remember this? Because I got up and went to get it. You were probably drinking, which you should have been. Okay. And like, [00:30:00] I don't remember, like they're, and I'm like, God, they should be here.

They should be here already. We were sitting out back and then I get up and walk in and they're just still standing at the front door waiting for me to open the door to hand the pizza to me, and I'm like. Okay, thanks guys. Cool. Like, I really appreciate it. Thank you. But they're like, oh, we wanna make sure you got it.

And I was like, I ate. Got it. Yeah. 'cause I'm so used to it. Yep. Nope. It's on my little instructions. You just leave, bring the doorbell and run. Yes. That's what I want you to do.

Jen: Yes, absolutely. Okay. We do have one more petty story. This one is a little bit longer, so Buckle in but is pretty great. My name is.

Midge quotation marks, Midge. Love that. That was the choice. Okay. For the A alias, when I worked as a paralegal at a small law firm, I had to work alongside a woman who didn't like me. From day one, I was younger, more computer savvy, and willing to work harder than her. So she was absolutely ugly toward me all the time.

I can see her pinch scowl now. She would constantly try to sabotage me, like not give me [00:31:00] billing time, slip info until the morning it was due, but lying and saying she'd given it to me the week before. She irritated me so much because she was always at someone else's desk gossiping while I worked my tail off.

It didn't help that every time I went into her office, I caught her playing solitaire. I genuinely don't know how she kept her job. I love we're getting old backstory. Yes. This is setting the scene. Yes. Well, six years into working there, man. Kudos. Our desktop computers were put on a network. Only I really knew what that meant.

I had just as much access to her computer files as I did to my own. Oh boy. And unlike her, I knew how to identify the difference between important and inconsequential files. Don't think Ill of me after six years of dealing with her crap, I include taking on several of her tasks because she was so inefficient.

I was pissed off. I used the network to go into her computer and deleted the solitaire exe file

DeJah: every time. Brilliant. Every time she'd click

Jen: on the solitaire icon on her desktop, she didn't understand why it didn't work and and didn't know how to fix it and couldn't admit [00:32:00] it. For the next year I worked there, I had the delightful satisfaction of knowing she no longer had her favorite game to play, and instead she had to shock her actually work.

I still kind of feel bad, but not really. She was awful.

DeJah: Slow clap. Slow clap of petty greatness. Yes. Really good. Yes. Brilliant. Working in the shadows.

Joe: Fine.

Jen: All that brings me joy. Yes. Oh, that is fantastic. My old school solitaire too, man. That was,

Joe: I used to enjoy when I worked in an office screen, grab somebody's desktop and then make that the wallpaper and then move all the icons, so then they're just getting super pissed

Jen: clicking.

Doesn't anything work?

DeJah: Damn.

Jen: Yeah. That's oof. Oh that. Yeah. That's crazy. That's great. That's awesome though. Like, would it be so like ninja little like, yes. Petty ninja right there. That's right. I love it. Yeps awesome. The

Joe: good. I don't understand how technology works stories. I saw a comedian on TikTok and he was talking about watching content that as a man would watch, that he wouldn't like people knowing [00:33:00] that he watched and it paired to his Bluetooth speaker in his wife's in the other room.

Jen: Ah, yes.

Joe: And I was like, that's a great technology story right there. Yeah.

Jen: Yep. Well, that, I mean, thankfully it was nothing like I was getting my oil changed earlier this week and. So I'm like, I brought my computer and I was just working while I was waiting for them to change my oil. But of course when they go to get my car and turn it on, I'm in the middle of a phone conversation.

Then my phone connects to my, I'm like, why is that Bluetooth so strong? Yes. Why is it reaching that far? 'cause all of a sudden I can't hear Yes. The person I'm, and I'm like, wait. And I was like, oh. Thankfully I understood what was happening. Yeah. Somebody that doesn't understand, they'd be like, what? Hello?

You know, meanwhile the person in your car, thankfully I was having, wasn't having an inappropriate conversation. 'cause the person in the car would've heard all kinds of things, but so

DeJah: random. Yeah. It's weird. Like on the occasion, all of a sudden for no indicated reason, like the call will come through my watch.

Like that Bluetooth will sync up and it'll come through my watch. I'm like, I, I've had that happened

Joe: before when I used to wear an Apple watches, like when I wanna My Dick Tracy, when I was like, hello, Roger. Roger.

DeJah: Yeah.

Jen: Like, well, but for, but for [00:34:00] the, the Apple watches, you can an and for like Samsung watches, you can answer and like talk on your I can,

DeJah: yeah.

But I didn't set it up that way. Ah, gotcha. Like, I have that disabled because I don't want calls coming through to my watch. Yeah. But it would just random in the same way, by the way, you need to help me all of a sudden because I, I disabled. Yeah. Because all of a sudden now voicemails are coming through.

And I'd had all the disabled, right? Mm-hmm. Must've been either a software, you know, we don't need to say. Right? Right. So I went back, I tried to find, but anyway, so all of a sudden, 'cause the only people that call me are fucking spam. Yeah. Or y MCA a people. So just spam fucking messages coming through on the, not the people, not the village people gym.

The gym, yes. Specifically their childcare. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I

Joe: get so many spam calls lately. Do you guys enjoy messing with them? Do you mess with? Same answer. I don't answer, answer if. If I don't recognize

Jen: the call, I don't answer it.

Joe: You can leave a voicemail if it's important. I will just set my phone.

I'll just keep working and just set my phone there and just ask 'em a series of questions. Take like 10, 15 minutes of their time and never buy anything. I get at

DeJah: least 20 a day telling me that I've been [00:35:00] approved. No tens and tens of thousands of dollars. How about the, because

Jen: I hate if I'm in the middle of like, so of a project or like I'm really focusing on something at work and then a call comes through and it's a spam call.

Mm-hmm. It pisses me off to no end. 'cause I'm like, I just got, on average when you get disrupted from a project, takes you like 20 minutes to get back into it where you were. That's so, it's, it's such a waste of time.

DeJah: Yeah. It's, well Google, it's frustrating. Well, Google, Google does a really good job. I'm gonna give it that, that they tell me that it's spam.

Jen: They do, but they all, because I've. Sometimes ignored those calls. Mm-hmm. When it says suspected spam and it's not a spam call or just like, 'cause our business, yeah. Phone number is a Google Voice number and it will say suspected spam. I'm like, listen, we are not like cold calling like that, like mm-hmm.

I'm reaching out to you because you reached out to me or somebody referred Anyway. So all that to say, Joe, do we have a voicemail or Yeah. Text message from a listener.

DeJah: Yeah, I was gonna say, I take so I just sit down every couple of days and I'll have like 25 voicemails. Right. God, that and I just stresses me out.

Yeah, it's, it's all the exact same [00:36:00] recording where it's like, this is Aubrey Parker, and then it turns into, this is Virginia Jones. Right. There's just this AI just kicking the same thing. So I sit and I block and I report every single one of them. Yeah. I have to do that every, I have. I do get pleasure and phone number.

Oh, it makes me joy. It's a little end. It's a little cathartic. Yeah, man. Yes. Black and apart black report.

Joe: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I like to be like a really good mark where they're like, we're calling because your business is not listed on Google's platform and you might be missing on leads. Oh my gosh. You need my credit card?

Yes. Oh my gosh.

Jen: Oh, I got one in Wake County earlier this year about how, hi, this is so and so, and they, okay. It was smart, but also dumb because. They listed an actual like Wake County Sheriff's officer name, or like, and so I googled 'cause they were like, we've got, you know, we need to serve you with documents.

And I was like, first of all, that's not how it works. Right? But I could see how someone would completely believe that weren't familiar how civil procedure works. And so then I actually Googled the guy that they, he said he was, and I was like. [00:37:00] I don't want to assume things, but the voice that was on that voicemail does not look like it would match the person that who that actually is.

Yeah, yeah.

Joe: Are they super thick? Indian accent now? This is Phil Smith. I'm like, okay, yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. This is

Jen: officer blah, blah, blah. We've got documents, but okay. Sure,

DeJah: sure. All right. Here it is, the voicemail. I also want everyone to know I'm not. Selling my fucking house. Also, Jack, get so many text messages, God asking,

Joe: who are these poor people sitting around on stacks of money that just hang cash as is

Jen: sight unseen.

My listen, I like my home. I would like to stay in it. Thank you. Yeah,

Joe: we should just try selling it to 'em next time. Oh,

DeJah: you know what I do for those, when they ask, I always start at one point too. Just, just throw it out there. Absolutely. Yeah. Because they, if they text the top, if they text me to my personal cell phone number, I'll like, sweet.

Well, I'll, I'll start at 1.2, but yeah. What if you actually get an offer, that would be great. I would absolutely take [00:38:00] 1.2 million

Jen: from my property, be sure. Jen, I'm gonna move in temporarily. Mm-hmm. Until yes. Yeah.

DeJah: Then we're gonna, I'm gonna buy our compound. Yep. Because I, yep. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep, yep, yep.

Joe: All right. We got a text from the audience. Hit us. Here we go. Do it. Hi, first time texter, longtime listener. Subject, ask question, what is the one thing in an end of the world scenario that you think you absolutely couldn't live without? We'd

DeJah: my vibrator that.

Jen: All

DeJah: right,

Joe: so anybody that's in product marketing knows if you make a hollowed out vibrator, middle aged women for a survival kit. Correct.

Jen: Millionaire.

DeJah: You can buy Houses. Houses. If that bitch comes with a Swiss utility knife on it too. Oh no, that's a bad combo. Absolutely solid. I mean

Jen: [00:39:00] opposite, man. It's fine.

That's fine. Listen, you give me that and my mascara and I can rule the world. Yeah. All I got endorphins kicking in. Yep. I'm relaxed.

DeJah: I I'll whittle me some coconuts. Yep. Gimme a little grass skirt. Let's roll. What's your song?

Jen: Absolutely. I'm straight.

DeJah: Happy as a clam. Running around like a crazy person.

Jen: Oh, it's you.

We both, but especially you when need sunscreen.

DeJah: Oh,

Jen: you could literally not live with us

DeJah: onscreen. So, you know, you know when Jumanji, how cast away with Tom Hank just when they, when they discover Robin Williams. When he is inside the game, Uhhuh and he is just made himself an outfit of leaves.

That is, that would be me. That would be, I would just cover myself for protection. Okay. Yes. You,

Jen: you could just not wax or sha anything. Yes. I think eventually you would get

DeJah: there, oh, I just turn into a Yeti. That, that is what would fucking happen if I just stopped shaving and then leafed myself. Done.

They're like new species you would've found, you finally [00:40:00] found the Sasquatch. It's you. It's me.

Jen: Joe, what could you not live without in the inner world situation?

Joe: I don't know. I just got really literal. I was thinking food.

DeJah: You silly goose.

Joe: I like to sleep. Pretty simple needs. You were like, I would

DeJah: like to actually live. Oh, in the I. Meanwhile, we're up at a party.

Joe: Well, I know where I come for weed.

DeJah: Well, I mean, listen, if you need I right here, you can borrow with, this is a commune now, bud. I would, I would assume that just clean it

Joe: if we're in an end of the world situation that the internet's.

Down. So maybe like some movies and DVD player, I don't know, a

DeJah: hundred, a hundred percent.

Joe: I'd be the only movie theater left in town.

Jen: Okay.

DeJah: But we could say like low supremacist of the stand, one of the characters collected DVDs because of the end of the world scenario, and they didn't say like. Alone. So

Jen: if we could be together in this [00:41:00] scenario

Joe: Party.

I baby. I'm sorry. I got my answer. My wife.

DeJah: There you go. I'm sorry about that. There you go. Good job. Good job. Good job.

Joe: Edit this. That's gonna be immediately after the question.

DeJah: Yes. Yes. Not movies or D dvt. Oh my god. Food good. Safe. Good. Safe.

Joe: Or maybe my dogs. I like my dogs.

DeJah: Oh yeah. Yeah. Hide. Hide. Yeah.

Absolutely. But, well, I wouldn't, I wouldn't even say my dogs because an end rule scenario, as I the Yeti and running around, it'll just be, and all of the dogs will attract to me. We're just one giant. They'll be like, yeah, all dogs just smelly and go, oh yeah, she's a dog. Yeah. And then so there's all flock to me and they just like, just herd.

Me and dogs. Yep. Instead of all dogs go to heaven, all

Jen: dogs go to Daja. All dogs talk to Daja.

DeJah: Yes. That is absolutely true.

Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I, we've, we've kind of, we've touched on this before. I would have to find Daja, maybe my one thing I could live without is Daja because [00:42:00] she could hunt for the food and I, we've.

Listen, start the fire. I can boil the water to get like the things out of it and whatever we've discovered. You're gonna chop the vegetables? Yes. Yes. And be there for moral, moral support. Yes. I'm cheering me on I am companionship. Mm-hmm. That is, that is my living. Perfect.

DeJah: You are

Jen: my Wilson. Yes, you

DeJah: are my Wilson.

Joe: The first thing it does is put a painted hand print across your face. She

DeJah: just slaps when I can't hunt. She just. Slaps me and that becomes the hamper that, that it, that deems me. Wilson. Yes. Yes.

Jen: Oh, shit. And then we'll just find Joe with his wife. Yep. And DVD with his wife and you guys.

Joe: Come watch a movie when you get bored.

Jen: Love it. Love it. Yeah. I'll just go off with my vibrator. I don't know what to just go off.

Joe: What if we're also conditions?

DeJah: What kind DD are you gonna have?

Joe: Oh, shit. The [00:43:00] complete Marvel movie set.

Yeah, I

DeJah: could work with that. Excellent. In a th you know? Yes. Yes. Inspiration can be found.

Listen, if I'm desperate, Lokey. All right. Like a a sometimes girls gotta dig deep, if you know what I mean. But that's.

So was like Tim, what have I got myself? Oh, oh shit. Oh, we actually, he should probably wrap it up at that point. 'cause I really don't know where to go after that. Oh man. Yeah. Well,

Joe: was that the answer you were expecting

DeJah: texture? Yeah, right. That's the answer you got.

Jen: No, I mean that's, I mean it's always, you know, I mean funny, whatever, but yeah, I dunno.

I hope to never find out same. Same. Yeah, because I am a creature of comfort.

Joe: I mean, I don't know how long a battery lasts, but eventually you're just carrying around a stick.

Jen: Yeah. Well, listen, it still has a purpose.

Joe: Even if know an escalator still works the stairs. You know what? [00:44:00] Unless, unless you're Trump.

DeJah: Okay.

Jen: Like Right. Has a fucking mental breakdown. Oh my God. Oh man. Needs to take some more stairs in his life.

DeJah: Yeah,

Jen: I, yeah, I don't,

DeJah: yep. So, the moral of the story is be careful on the stairs. Okay. Like, like our Cheeto in chief.

Go real slow. Mm-hmm. Real slow. Be careful, careful, careful. And yeah, just keep on rambling Love and appreciate you. Bye

[00:45:00]