Ramblings of a Restless Mind

011 Ramblings - Silent S or Silent C
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DeJah Debon: [00:00:00] all bullshit. Yeah. It's just all bullshit. It's, I'm looking for my lobster. I'm still married and I have two children that I have nothing to do with and I have no money and I can't actually date you, but I'm looking for my soulmate.

Yeah. We're gonna run away together and travel to every destination every weekend. Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think too, it, 'cause I've had people, you know, when you're like. Joe and you're in a healthy, when you're like, Joe, you're like Joe, and you're in a healthy, loving relationship. It's

Joe Woolworth: derogatory. Yeah.

You're like, you know, some people like Joe, Joe

Jen Bordeaux: or my brother or sister-in-law, or parents or like other friends that have been in, you know, you know, loving, I don't wanna just say marriages because. Let's be real. They're all not No. But like loving marriages or, or long-term relationships and whatnot.

Like, people sometimes are fascinated by the online dating world if they've never been subject to it. Yeah. And so they're like, well, what do you think the, like, the issue is? Or like, what do you think that, and I was like, we, we have attention spans of Nats these days. And so at the first sign of [00:01:00] conflict mm-hmm.

You know, I get to swipe again and I don't have to deal with this. And so conflict resolution becomes a thing that's. By the wayside.

Ritz crackers are delicious, but my mouth is very dry right now, so I'm gonna take a sip of water and that's how we're starting this podcast off. Hello Ramblers.

Joe Woolworth: Speaking of crackers, did you guys know that Carrie [00:02:00] is the main manufacturer of Cheez-Its, I just learned this.

Jen Bordeaux: What I did not. So we are right now the podcast studio isn't for listeners, Kerry, North Carolina.

That is where we are and that's where they make Cheezits.

Joe Woolworth: It's over on MCC Crimmon, over by like Ruth, Chris, bless them. Wow.

Jen Bordeaux: Bless

DeJah Debon: them.

Jen Bordeaux: I love Cheezit. Listen, I have smashed a Cheez-It or two in my day. Oh.

DeJah Debon: A hundred. I've had to make myself walk away from them.

Joe Woolworth: Yeah. Yeah. My buddy he's, he's just very like, salesy and outgoing and we learned this 'cause it was like on the Mayor's blog and I was like, did you know what Cheezit are made there?

And he calls the corporate line and he got a hold of the, the admin of the president. And he's like, well, if you ever need to help get the word out on Cheez-It. We got this studio over here in C And I was like, he hung up. And I was like, do you realize, you said to the lady who runs Cheezit that if they need help getting the word out.

On Cheezits that, that we can

DeJah Debon: help. Yes. The, the very, very obscure, rarely known, listen, you got a good

Joe Woolworth: snack chip, but not a lot of people know about it. Not enough marketing. Not enough marketing. [00:03:00] Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Wow. That's just amazing. What up, Cheezit? Shout out. Yes, sponsor us. You got the money. Let's do it. Crackers.

Like we are buying enough Cheez-Its for the, between the three of us in this studio right now, for you to be able to sponsor our podcast. So, yeah. Yeah. When you think about all

Joe Woolworth: the new flavors, are you a fan or are you just like the original?

Jen Bordeaux: I'm an original girl. Same. I do like the white cheddar though.

White cheddar I was gonna make, I was the spicy exception.

DeJah Debon: The spicy ones are okay, but it's like whatever. Yeah. But no, just the regular. Regular Cheez-Its absolutely just, just in a, in a semi lounging position so you can catch the crackers on yourself. Right, right. It's just a self-contained unit.

Cheez-Its are like girls on

Joe Woolworth: cookies, like you crack the sleeve and it's all gone. It's done, done.

Jen Bordeaux: It's just, oh man. Like that is the epitome of self-care right there. A cheezit.

Joe Woolworth: Yes. You can't take the box to the couch or it's over? Yeah. Oh, you have to pour it into a cereal bowl. Oh man. What? What? You do that?

No, that's what, but that would prevent me from finishing the box. Oh, I had a buddy in high school that would melt cheese on it and then make che at nachos.

Jen Bordeaux: Oh, no. [00:04:00]

Joe Woolworth: Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Oh, my stomach just

Joe Woolworth: turned. Thinking about that. Yeah. Thanks.

Jen Bordeaux: I haven't, I have, I've only ever had the regular size and Cheez-Its too, 'cause you know, they made the big ones there for a little bit.

Have you, have you dabbled in the big ones?

Joe Woolworth: I haven't. I did see that Taco Bell had like a wrap with a Cheez-It in it and I'm like, well this is the end of the world. Yeah, we, that sounds

Jen Bordeaux: like somebody got

Joe Woolworth: real

Jen Bordeaux: high.

Joe Woolworth: We, yeah, that's exactly, that's every new Taco Bell item I feel like. Yes. It's, they just, they got a test switching.

Kitchen full of like people dropping gummies all day. Absolutely.

Jen Bordeaux: Daja. You have a new career ahead of you. Yes. I might taste like, where do I are available? Where do I set up? Mm-hmm. Oh man. Well, welcome back to another episode. We started that one off just strong. We have things

Joe Woolworth: to say. We had to get into it real quick,

Jen Bordeaux: you know, maybe we started, you know, and I think that's one of the beauty of the beauties of this platform is that, you know, the last episode we started off more on a more serious note, which we don't tend to do, but something that it we're both very passionate about and that was [00:05:00] child abuse and foster children and you know, pathways to delinquency, things like that.

So, very, very important to both Deja and I and Joe, we're just gonna assume it's important to you as well. Oh yeah, sure. Cool. So this, I'm against it. Sometimes I feel like people word those questions wrong, like, true, right? Are you

Joe Woolworth: for this? And you're like, well, what do you mean for it? Poor. Yeah. Like, I'm not, I'm for being against.

Yes.

Jen Bordeaux: Joe, how do you feel about child abuse in the class?

Joe Woolworth: I don't like it. Good.

Jen Bordeaux: There we go. Good answer. Cleared that up. Yeah, so, you know, we, we like the mixed bag of one episode. That's child abuse is how we start. We. Ended it with talking about comedy. 'cause we, we had a comedian feed with us and now we started off talking about Cheez-Its, I don't really want Cheez-Its, yeah, that's fair.

I'm just eyeballing these crackers I know in front of me that aren't Cheez-Its, but they are everything rich, which I had not had before. And that, that's the move right there. I'm highly

DeJah Debon: recommending these.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So now we just have crackers and cheese and strawberries and blueberries sitting in between us that we can't eat while we record.

So you should. See [00:06:00] how we look like monsters in between just like shoving and

Joe Woolworth: scrolling and shoving food in our face. It's like one of those reels where kids you know, parents put out the snack and they're like, no, you can't have this until the podcast is over. Yes. Yes. And we'll just see how you guys do.

Jen Bordeaux: Yep. So I just need one of you to go on a long tangent about something so that I can go ham, some cheese crackers real quick. Oh, delightful. Goodness. Delightful. So something else that has recently happened here is I think we've, we've mentioned here, there, online dating and it's a battlefield first and foremost.

Like, oh my God, it's, I think you've all been given it up. You're like, no, just, no. Yeah, that's, that's about where I've reached the Yeah,

Joe Woolworth: but there's no, there's no regular dating anymore, right? No. Like, that's the option. That's where everybody, yeah, pretty much. I mean, that's the sad part, right? Because you, I

Jen Bordeaux: think that's, that's why people will ask like, oh, well, how'd you two meet?

'cause it's almost like you're, you're expecting to say online, but you hope that you just get the unicorn of like,

DeJah Debon: oh yeah, there's somebody out there that

Jen Bordeaux: somebody introduced us, [00:07:00] or we were at the bar, or like whatever. And unless it was like 10 years ago, that shit ain't

DeJah Debon: happening. Mm-hmm. Well, and I also think too, and this is just from me, just.

Being a, you know, anthropologist in the wild, just watching people. I, I think that I, I look up, you know, when you go out to places, hanging on a brewery, whatever, and you'll see, you'll like try to make eye contact with someone and then they look down at your phone and I sometimes wonder, I'm like, are they seeing if I'm like on an app in like,

Jen Bordeaux: oh, in real time.

In real time?

DeJah Debon: Because

Jen Bordeaux: you, it's

DeJah Debon: by based off proximity for some, yeah, yeah, right. Like just that kind of like, look up, look at you, look down, look up, look at you. Like, are, are you? Trying to find if I'm on, so these apps something, so it'll

Joe Woolworth: be okay to talk to me in

DeJah Debon: real life.

Joe Woolworth: You're telling me I'm, I feel old right now.

There these apps like Geolocate and so you open up whatever app it is and then it'll tell you like if somebody's near you

Jen Bordeaux: well. I'm not gonna say that's not out there. But, so for instance, Bumble is one of the big ones. Mm-hmm. Right? And Bumble started I love the premise behind Bumble with an online dating app in that if you [00:08:00] matched the female has to initiate the conversation.

Mm-hmm. Because on other platforms. Either person can, and let's be honest, like Tinder. Well, I guess like imagine E Harmony were some of the first ones. Mm-hmm. Think Cupid. Yeah. An okay. Cupid and Cupid. Plenty of Fishes. Like there's so many different ones. There's Coffee Meats, bagel. I think that's the first one I ever tried out.

Mm-hmm. But they, but Bumble you can. See, so you part of the parameters, you pick how many miles away you're willing to date, basically. Like if they're, so if, oh, okay. Somebody that's like 30 miles away, but whenever, so

Joe Woolworth: it makes sense because that makes sense. You don't wanna date somebody that's an hour drive.

Right.

Jen Bordeaux: Exactly. And then you can. You see once you match or whatever, like you can see, it'll, Bumble will say like, they're 10 miles away or 20 miles away. Or you know, like in real time it's not gonna give you an address or like a pin drop of where somebody's at. But like, if it's, if I'm sitting at home, I could see if somebody, it said like, Raleigh, three miles, doesn't,

DeJah Debon: doesn't Tinder do that though?

I don't know. Snapchat. It does that and I know, I'm pretty sure Grindr does too, where you can like [00:09:00] probably geo locate, like they're more known as the hookup

Jen Bordeaux: apps too. Yeah,

DeJah Debon: exactly. Exactly. So that's why I'm like, I'm, I'm wondering if we've degraded to the point of like, you can't even just have a conversation in public.

If you see someone, you have to verify. They're online

Joe Woolworth: first. It's somehow rude. It's like a telephone call of like, dare. That's call, that's exactly what I'm describing. Like, '

DeJah Debon: cause you know, like try to like one, you're like building up the confidence and be like, Hey. And then two, you're, you know, something up and down looking at the phone, I'm like I'm gonna go back to the wild.

I, yeah. It's,

Jen Bordeaux: it's it is. There are so many things to say about it, and, and I, it like, it's not all bad. I have dated, seriously dated a couple of people off of, of online dating and obviously I'm no longer with them, so that's how that went. But I know I have two very good friends that both met their now husbands on dating app too.

So like, I know there's hope and I clinging to that, that hope and that's what still keeps me coming back sometimes, you know, you know what brought me hope the other day?

DeJah Debon: I'm gonna, I'm gonna share, I was at the, I was at the nail salon and I love my ladies. I'm gonna go ahead and put Lush over [00:10:00] by trader Joe's Wake Forest.

We, they were having a conversation about furries I. They pointed out that a furries can find people. There's a person for everyone, you know, and I went, you know what? I'm gonna take from that

Jen Bordeaux: after that probably is, I'm

DeJah Debon: not,

Jen Bordeaux: I'm not

DeJah Debon: confess solace. In that statement of like, yeah, you're right. If there's somebody that likes to dress up like a fox and literally prance around like a fox and they find the love of their life, that's like, you know what, sweetheart, I nor I, I encourage and I normalize this for you, that that's the kinda love.

Yeah,

Jen Bordeaux: there's a lot of, you know, and I've been on and off because you gotta take breaks man. You get burnt out, you get, I have lost faith in, so I've met some really cool people, like maybe they didn't even turn into like actually dating, but like you meet up and it's really, I found it's all about like your perspective and like where you are kind of mentally.

Mm-hmm. And your expectation and viewpoint towards dating. 'cause [00:11:00] if you, and how open you are to it, actually. Yes. Mm-hmm. Because if you are, when I first started with online dating, I admittedly it was too soon after my separation and I went in, I, I still in my mind, wanted to be married. And so my mentality was every person I was going out with, they're gonna be the one.

They're gonna be the one. And that's not healthy. And you're, yeah. That's a lot of pressure also to put on that other person like that, that's just, that's not gonna set you up for success. I think

DeJah Debon: that's normalized now though. I feel like I did the same thing. It was too soon. I wasn't ready. But I think that that's kind of gets pushed on us now.

To like go after. Oh no, no. Go ahead and get on the site. Get on the dating sites, you'll feel better. It's get back out there. You'll get back out there. Exactly. No, no. You need time to heal and that's okay.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah, definitely. And, and there's, you know, and if that's okay, 'cause there's, there's space for that too.

Like if you just wanna go out to meet people and have fun, and whether that includes hooking up or just meeting a new friend. Yeah, exactly. Have fun, be safe, be smart. Yep. But so, so there's definitely been an evolution for me with online dating. And I also think that for probably the first time. Within this last year, [00:12:00] and it was honestly catalyzed by a breakup, and you and I have talked about this.

I stopped focusing so much on it and I started focusing on more of like just me and like what I wanted out. I had focused so much on post-divorce, like the type of partner I wanted to be and the type of partner that I knew I now needed in a companion. That. When the most recent breakup happened at the beginning of last year, I paused all that and I was like, I'm done with focusing on that.

I just wanna focus on my cup, like on Jen's Cup. Mm-hmm. What, what else do I want out of life? And my focus switched. And so I haven't dedicated tons of energy, like gone on dates, like here or there, whatever. But and that has honestly made the experience more enjoyable because it's not a, a true focal point in my life, not putting as much weight on it.

And I've got a lot of fun shit going on in my life. This podcast, like new job, time with family, time with friends, like all kinds of stuff. But recently I was, I had just matched with the guy and we were like talking and stuff and we were both talking about, because I have in my bio like that I have a podcast.

And to be honest, at this point it's like, it was almost like marketing. Yes, because a lot of people will ask about it, by the way, [00:13:00] thank you for that. You're welcome. So they'll ask me what it's about. And at first I was like, man, should I even tell? I'm like, well, shit. Like the random person can listen. What is, what's so different about this?

So then I will tell 'em, and hey, maybe we get a new listener. But this person asked me, he was like, so do you, how many like guys that you've got on dates with or whatever are inspiration for what you talk about on the podcast?

Joe Woolworth: And I was like, man, I'm not Taylor Swift.

Jen Bordeaux: I shoulda said I. I don't think we, we've never really gone down a dark hole of like, dating experiences or anything like that. I, you know, to be honest, I mean, I

DeJah Debon: brought up Vort,

Jen Bordeaux: but you know, yeah, we, we don't speak his name. We do not speak his name. But I think it's, you know, I was like, you know what?

There's been some, there's been some good experiences, some bad, obviously bad experiences. That's everything in life. Yeah, yeah. But he was like, oh man, I should probably be careful then. And I was like, well, maybe you'll just be really awesome. Some, and it'll inspire a good story for, you know, for, oh, you're

Joe Woolworth: on the podcast [00:14:00] now, buddy.

Right?

Jen Bordeaux: Right. I'm not name dropping. I don't even know if he's even still listening at all. Profile

Joe Woolworth: Id forwards left.

Jen Bordeaux: No, but I mean, it is really made me think about I just think that the whole dating, the online dating ex. Experience and the evolution that I have personally had with it in the way that my mind, because my mind has changed about it because Sure would I like to find a companion that sticks. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, sure. Cool. That would be great. But I think now, and I think I know, but I don't wanna speak for you, I think this is kind of where you're at in life too, is that like, I'm so happy, like that's truly generated from myself with my happiness that. I'm not gonna fuck around with something. You know what I mean?

Like Yeah. I'm not going to compromise or jeopardize. I'm, I've, I'm done doing that. Yeah. Because I feel when I have someone that I do want to, like, I'm looking at as a serious companion, like I love hard. Mm-hmm. Not love bombing, you know, not nothing like that. Yeah. But like I am, I try to be my most authentic [00:15:00] self and listen and see how I can contribute to this partnership.

And so far that hasn't been. Match and I think I'm tired of, I think I've gotten to a point now where I'm just kind of tired of. Pouring so much of myself into that situation. Whenever it's not met, I still have the hope that it will be, I, gosh, years ago was on, was a guest on somebody's podcast and you know, I was like, the term is always hopeless, romantic.

I was like, I don't like that term. I want it to be hopeful romantic. Mm-hmm. Like, but so the, the, the dating journey is, is not for the faint of heart negative ghost writer. There is a lot of. And I'm gonna say this, I'm not here to yuck anybody's yum. Okay? Different strokes, different folks, but there are so many more e and m.

So ethical non-monogamy. Yeah. People or people that are in, you know, like open relationships or whatever, and listen, you do you boo boo and if it works for y'all, cool. I, they just statistically one I don't share. Well, okay. Like I, this just not gonna happen. [00:16:00] Especially if things get physical. Hell no. Yeah, no, you're not sticking your lollipop in somebody else.

You know what I'm saying? Yep. So then there's that point of it. And then the other side of that is. Working in family law for so many years, we saw so many people that were in quote unquote consensual open relationships or marriages and boom, now we got all these divorces happen because somebody caught feels so, yeah.

Yeah. So it's, it's, but you know, if it works, if it's truly that way. Yeah. Good luck in Godspeed and I'm happy for you guys.

Joe Woolworth: Yeah, I I also am a little skeptical if, to me it feels like, like why the Bachelor never works out. Like, oh, you started dating 50 women at the same time and now it didn't work out.

That's so weird. No,

DeJah Debon: that's odd. Yeah. I can't believe that.

Joe Woolworth: Shock,

DeJah Debon: shock, shock. Shock and odd. There's,
[00:17:00]

Joe Woolworth: there's an app though. I was just, I was, I was Jet GPT and some popular dating apps. There's one called Field, which is for open relationships.

DeJah Debon: I thought you were gonna tell me it was for farmers. I know.

That's

Joe Woolworth: what I thought when I first read it. All right, I got some. Let me see if you guys have heard of. I'll give you two dating apps and you tell me if it's real or [00:18:00] made up. You ready? Okay. Okay. All right. Low vu popular in Europe. Real time radar style matching. Is that one real or spoil me? You swipe right.

Then they pay your rent Allegedly. I am gonna go spoil me. You think that's real or fake?

Jen Bordeaux: Real? Because I know of like people that are like sugar babies. I don't know them personally, but I know of situations where women will be like sugar babies, and so they basically quote unquote like, show up and date these.

Older gentlemen, I guess I don't have to be older, but like financially wealthy, dating, wink, wink folks. Yeah, exactly. In exchange for monetary support?

Joe Woolworth: Nope, it's, it's vu. Oh damn. They're popular in Europe real time, right? See my answer was all of them.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah. Yes, sure. There seems to be, I mean, yeah, there's an app or a site for everything and everybody.

Joe Woolworth: Alright. What about vaguely a vegan and vegetarian looking for love without beef? Is that one real or is

DeJah Debon: No, that's That's funny.

Joe Woolworth: That's funny. [00:19:00] It's on the nose. No Cap Cupid, all love, no lies. And probably a lot of Gen Z slang.

Jen Bordeaux: Well, I know there's okay Cupid, but I know a guy who is vegan and he found his now girlfriend that they're living together off of.

He said it was a vegan dating app.

Joe Woolworth: Yay. Vaguely. Vaguely. Is a real app mean That's funny. I wonder if it's that

Jen Bordeaux: I should text him and be like, did you find your your boo?

Joe Woolworth: Wow. All right, so here's one. Is this one real or fake? Sapio for people who think brains are the sexiest? Yes. The sapio sexual,

DeJah Debon: that would be my site.

Tell me That one's real. Please, please tell me that one's real. Please, please. Jo Jo. Joke, send

Jen Bordeaux: me the link. Deja pulled out her phone. Start searching for sio. That's cool. I there's, I mean, there's a

DeJah Debon: lot. There was,

Jen Bordeaux: there's, you know

DeJah Debon: what? You know what's on there? Douche bags and men, some members, I guarantee they're all just, I would like [00:20:00] goddamn ninja, just cut my way through that fucking field, end up by myself again at the end.

Right. That's where I

Jen Bordeaux: feel like it would go. Listen, it's also, it takes a lot of energy, like online dating is like a full-time job because you're, you're constantly starting the conversation over again, right? Yeah. And like, so you match with somebody and then they might not be actually active on the website or I mean on the app, even though their profile.

Still showing up or whatever. And so it's just, or they're just honey trapping you. Yeah. It's, and they're not, it's

DeJah Debon: all bullshit. Yeah. It's just all bullshit. It's, I'm looking for my lobster. I'm still married and I have two children that I have nothing to do with and I have no money and I can't actually date you, but I'm looking for my soulmate.

Yeah. We're gonna run away together and travel to every destination every weekend. Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think too, it, 'cause I've had people, you know, when you're like. Joe and you're in a healthy, when you're like, Joe, you're like Joe, and you're in a healthy, loving relationship. It's

Joe Woolworth: derogatory. Yeah.

You're like, you know, [00:21:00] some people like Joe, Joe

Jen Bordeaux: or my brother or sister-in-law, or parents or like other friends that have been in, you know, you know, loving, I don't wanna just say marriages because. Let's be real. They're all not No. But like loving marriages or, or long-term relationships and whatnot.

Like, people sometimes are fascinated by the online dating world if they've never been subject to it. Yeah. And so they're like, well, what do you think the, like, the issue is? Or like, what do you think that, and I was like, we, we have attention spans of Nats these days. And so at the first sign of conflict mm-hmm.

You know, I get to swipe again and I don't have to deal with this. And so conflict resolution becomes a thing that's. By the wayside.

DeJah Debon: Yeah,

Jen Bordeaux: yeah, yeah.

DeJah Debon: I I'm gonna segue into, into a funny cool, let's funny story 'cause so our last guest Dr. Wynn was talking about, we were talking about conflict. Conflict resolution as in comedy, right?

Yeah. And then she was talking about her song. I Still Love the Bird song. Real. How Pure. Exactly. Her like, what a Cinderella. I loved her, I loved her so much. That real bird song of which [00:22:00] I, I do think it was the a Mocking Bird Prayer. Yeah, but then I was thinking about conflict resolution and how, like I, I've had many jobs before I had careers and I, one of them was bartending and I have bartended at biker bars and I have a hundred percent, I can say done winter.

When two large, large antelope are coming at each other at a bar in leather vests, right. And they're like, and I don't want my bar destroyed. Okay. Yep. So these two large antelopes are coming at each other, and this is a song that frequently gets stuck in my head. Brother Butter a cooking. Addy bought for it time.

A sister had another one, and I used to go into interpretive dance in front of the two large antelopes doctor. So nothing I can say it a doctor and just,

Jen Bordeaux: I wish you guys could be here to see that. We call 'em arm [00:23:00] feelings, like whatever your arms are, just all over the place because

DeJah Debon: how? How can you be aggressive and fight someone?

Yeah, no. When someone has octopus arms singing that song directly in front of you, right? No, you can't. Like I could, I could disarm enough to, all right, gentlemen, you take this outside, right? Like, but yeah, always, you know.

Jen Bordeaux: With that. First of all, I wish I wanna see this in action. Like, I, I just wanna get into a fight with somebody just to, just to have this happen.

Oh my God. But by squidward arms, remember how does, how do Bob and SpongeBob somehow make multiple appearances in our conversations here? You need to

Joe Woolworth: have, like, I wonder if Amazon sells, like, you know, those car dealership blow up things? Yes. I wonder if they have a handheld one that's like. 10 they inches tall.

They, that you just pulled out and then sing that song? Yes. Do that.

DeJah Debon: Yes.

Jen Bordeaux: Oh, you should do that with your boys. Like if they're, my God,

DeJah Debon: I grab my, my little, my little coconuts that I have for extra sound music. Yep. Oh man. God bless. Mon Python. So I got my coconut.

Jen Bordeaux: I'll [00:24:00] bring the little miniature hands that you got us off for Christmas this year.

Yes. Love it. Oh, well. We've just as.

DeJah Debon: Grabbed our Christmas album, ladies and Gentlemen,

Jen Bordeaux: miniature Hands and Coconuts Doctor. But there's, but there's, there's gotta be like, support for that because I remember reading some sort of a book about like relationships and bullshit. Mm-hmm. And there was, there were like, if you're getting into an argument that one couple said that they will.

If they're kind of at an impasse, right? 'cause when you're in the middle of it, it's hard to take a step back and be like, listen, it is us versus whatever problem we're trying to tackle. Not me versus you. Right? Right. And so they kind of. Trained, whatever decide. They both made the commitment that if they were in like a stalemate, in a, in a debate, whatever, that they would, one of them at least would try to remember and they would stop and they would get on the floor, like belly down and like put there.

And so the other one would have to come meet them and every single time they would start laughing and so it would deescalate. That's so funny. Joe, will you and your wife please? Please try that?

Joe Woolworth: Yeah, we'll give it a shot. Cool. I mean,

Jen Bordeaux: it's gonna be up to you to remember it 'cause she's not here, so I'll just [00:25:00] do it.

Joe Woolworth: I'll just do it first and not explain what's happening. Right.

Jen Bordeaux: Not explain, just get down and then she'll call and look

DeJah Debon: up at her real just waiting for her from the floor.

Joe Woolworth: I've also heard, and I think it kind of works we haven't done it a lot, but I remember somebody said, or it was in a relationship book that it's hard to argue when you're touching, so if you like hold hands or hug or something, it is really hard to keep fighting mean when you're touching somebody.

Yeah.

DeJah Debon: Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Woolworth: I don't know if that would be as effective as the laying down and putting your hand on

Jen Bordeaux: your, like, could you imagine laying on your belly? You just like, feels like puppy mode. Like Yeah, I

Joe Woolworth: got dogs in the house, man. They would just be all over me. It would work. Oh,

Jen Bordeaux: a hundred. Which would be another deescalation technique, right?

Oh, right. Like,

DeJah Debon: because when a dog is touching you, how can you be mad?

Joe Woolworth: Yeah. That might work. Next time we get an argument, I'll act like my passive dog and I'll just roll over on my belly and stick my arms up.

DeJah Debon: Yep. Yep. A hundred percent. Legs in the air. Legs in the air. Yeah. Let that belly out. Ugh. Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Well, I think we just solved world conflict.

Yeah. Right there. We just decided on world peace. Yep. We did it. We figured it out. We, we [00:26:00] got it. Well, now that we've resolved that issue and rambling, I do believe that we have a listener voicemail Yes. To play. Joe, is that queued up tech guy? Here it is. Cool. Let's hear it. Let's go.

Joe Woolworth: An avid listener.

I am out walking my dog, which is obviously where my mind rambles. And I saw half the world's problems in my own. But I have two questions for you to ramble about. The first being in the word sent, what letter is silent? Is it the s or is it the c? I don't know. It kept me up last night.

Secondly like smell. You guys are confused. Yeah. Ramble about things, about hot dogs and sandwiches. Is it, is it not? So that's why I thought I'd ask. You guys seem to have a very strong opinion about that, secondly. My question's a little morbid, but when I read it I was like, oh my gosh.[00:27:00]

This is a good question. At what age do you die? What age is too young to die of old age? What age is that? Huh? Okay. Thanks ladies.

Jen Bordeaux: There's a lot to unpack there. First of all, the dogs. Okay. She was walking your dog. There were other dogs. Like I feel like she would fit right. In the podcast. Right, right. We just, we just talking about the dogs.

Yes. Okay, so first question, we're gonna run it back. First of all, caller, thank you for the voicemail. So first question was the word scent. So like something that you smell. So scent, C-E-N-T-N-T. Which letter is silent? The S or the c?

DeJah Debon: I'm gonna go with the C. Same, but it, I guess it depends on your accent a little bit. Like where you place a little bit of emphasis.

Jen Bordeaux: Well that's true. 'cause if you think of like scent, like the money Uhhuh, it's, there's a C there, but A sent, like I sent you something. It's an [00:28:00] S, right? Uhhuh. English. Yeah. So I wonder why they say

DeJah Debon: English is so hard to learn because we have so many words that are spelled differently.

Pronounced the same. Yeah. That have different meanings because the bar theirs, they're their, their their, oh my God. Right? Like we,

Jen Bordeaux: yeah.

DeJah Debon: Yeah. And where,

Jen Bordeaux: mm-hmm. So, and then I think about, for instance, like in British dialect, a lot of words that have letters that we use that are silent, they pronounce.

So like we say Herb, right? And in British culture they say, herb, they pronounce the H 'cause there's fucking HB H there. Yeah. Right. So, but to be sure that in British British culture, they don't pronounce the C there too, right? Ski. How do you,

did that hurt? It looked like it hurt, or you just tried to say that That was my

DeJah Debon: best British, British accent. Tried to [00:29:00] say 'em both

Jen Bordeaux: it sounds like. Like yo was.

DeJah Debon: Oh shit. Oh man. Okay. And so for your second question, I do believe that cell death occurs approximately at 127 years old. Yeah. So wait, your, your, your lysis homes in your cells will automatically start to explode and you're gonna end your cell death genetically occurs.

Jen Bordeaux: Okay. There's a life expectancy of the human body.

So that's the scientific answer. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. Because I, I learned something new every time we do this. I do. But then the Phil, I guess the philosophical side of it, right?

DeJah Debon: How I'll live forever. Like that's good. I reincarnated

Jen Bordeaux: just keep, because when somebody's young, you know, like in high school and, and unfortunately my high school, it felt like it was fucking, what's the show where people die? The log, the logs, roll off the truck. Dexter. No,

DeJah Debon: [00:30:00] the locks.

Jen Bordeaux: The locks. Oh, I've got so many shows. Destination shows. Oh, okay. Yes. There's a billion of them. Another one's about to come out. Okay. And unfortunately, in my high school, we had a lot of death. And it was, it always happened on an odd number.

They were either supposed to graduate on an odd number year, or they did, they, that was their graduation anyway. Very creepy. But so somebody like high school, if they pass away, it's like, oh, died too young. Mm-hmm. So what, what. Age. Do we stop saying that? Do we consider

DeJah Debon: too young? Is it okay

Jen Bordeaux: to pass

DeJah Debon: away like eighties, right?

I mean, okay, so that was cell death. Now, if we start talking about actual mortality rates, because the average, like when the average person passes, like when the average male passes, it's around the 60 marker. Women is a little bit higher, but I mean. Yeah, unfortunately, because I just think it's because of heart disease and

Jen Bordeaux: yeah, I think about my, like my grandfather, when he passed away a few years ago, he was 83.

And obviously, gosh miss him dearly, [00:31:00] of course. But there were also lots of mutterings of, you know, he lived a long and happy life, you know, at 83. So at what point, what's the cutoff there? Like what is socially acceptable to say, eh, they lived a good life. It's fine. You know, I mean, I guess it's person specific, but I, yeah, like 65,

Joe Woolworth: I think.

65 retirement.

Jen Bordeaux: Please know, my mom is 65. If you

Joe Woolworth: 65 feels

DeJah Debon: right. No, your mom is not 65 in spirit. She is 32. Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Love that. Mm-hmm. She'll appreciate that too when she listens to this. Yep. Yeah, I don't know. That's, I love the, the questions were very like, doesn't matter to like, very, like, huh, you know, I'm gonna go with like, if they lived a good life, they.

DeJah Debon: Or did good things. Only the good daddy doesn't matter how old, right? There's a song about it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So if you

Joe Woolworth: make it to old age. You're a bit of a dick.

DeJah Debon: So it is written so it shall be

Jen Bordeaux: new rule. Yeah. Does that need to go into like Medicare somewhere? [00:32:00] Right. Your insurance becomes more expensive because you turn into a dick,

DeJah Debon: you get a discount. Yeah, because

Jen Bordeaux: you've achieved

DeJah Debon: Dick

Jen Bordeaux: age.

DeJah Debon: The dick discount.

Jen Bordeaux: Only in personality, not an anana anatomy. Yes, yes.

Oh, man, that would, those were good questions. That was great. That's the kind of shit that we love. C, it doesn't have to be for listeners, it doesn't have to be something groundbreaking, life changing, but thought provoking. And I bet you guys have never sat there and thought, is it the S or the C that's silent in this word?

No doubt. Yeah. Yeah. Good question. Good question. Yeah, those were that, that was a good question. Mm-hmm. I like that. Yeah. Anyone else is silent. To bring it full circle my dating life. Ooh. Insert cricket sounds.

Joe Woolworth: No, I don't have 'em. Wait. Nope. Not a cricket. I took a guess. There's a lot of buttons and I just hit one.

DeJah Debon: It was a funny joke though. It it, [00:33:00]

Joe Woolworth: speaking of weird things, my dating life. Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Edit that back to put Cricket sounds in. No God. Yeah. Oh man. Well, man, maybe we keep this one short. They're usually, they're long, so, so we'll wrap it up. But listen guys, I'm gonna say this for every episode and. Again, going back to the questions, the thoughts, it doesn't even have to be a question.

It could just be a thought like, Hey, this is my thought. Talk about it. If you really want DA's opinion on it the number to call is (919) 295-0578. As I always say, you are not at risk of actually talking to a human being. It goes straight to the voicemail. We will get it. Joe plays it beautifully. We don't, like I've said before, don't listen to him ahead of time.

And you can also text to that number and it will come through and we can, we can read your question aloud if you truly just don't wanna run the risk of actually calling someone. I get it. I hate picking up the phone and call. Right, right, right. Text is, which I think even from a marketing standpoint now, like 80 something percent of people prefer text and communications, even for like business [00:34:00] interaction.

Oh yeah. Just. Convenient. Yeah. But that's going back to people having their heads down, looking on their phones to see if people on dating apps are geographically close to them. Feel free

DeJah Debon: to not look up and just send us stuff.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah. I will say with that though, I do love being out somewhere and being able to tell that somebody's on like a dating update.

Oh. It's like, oh yeah. Oh, again, the behavior,

DeJah Debon: the anthropological social sociology, viewing. Yes. Yes. Delightful.

Jen Bordeaux: I love when you switch into that, that voice, you're like, oh, she's about to drop knowledge. That's my, that's my teacher voice.

DeJah Debon: That's my teacher voice.

Jen Bordeaux: Oh, man. All right. Well, if you are in the online dating world, good luck in Godspeed.

Take it in strides, take breaks. Like it re the burnout of it, the fatigue of it is real. It can be frustrating. Be safe. In every facet. 'cause there are creepers out there. I've come across 'em from like a legal standpoint. Thankfully I got lots of attorneys in my corner. But but yeah, just be safe.

Take it what it is, protect your own mental health and all of that. And if you go back, listen to the previous podcast, we got mental health [00:35:00] providers that can help you out with all of that as well. And I don't know, think about the silent

DeJah Debon: letters and words and always, always send a pin of where you are when you go on a date to somebody that you, your friend? Yes. Family member share. Do That's deja, I tell Deja what the person's

Jen Bordeaux: name is, where we're going. Always. Safety first. I share my location with my brother. Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. So identify those people and take us home as you always do. Buddy

DeJah Debon: brother bought a coconut. He bought a Ford Duck.

Jen Bordeaux: Deescalation techniques. I thought, I thought you de say don't run with scissors

or do, if you live life on the

DeJah Debon: edge, go for it. You juju boo. And with that, we love you. Keep on rambling. [00:36:00]