Ramblings of a Restless Mind

010 Ramblings
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Kiki Wynns: [00:00:00] You can't see me, so don't look for me in the movie, but at one point, Robin Williams came right to my group of extras, like from me to you, three, four feet away.

And he started just being funny, like just doing like characters and talking. So at some point he morphed into this character where he was pretending to be a tour guide at a museum. Okay. And acting like he had a statue there, like a statue of David. But basically I made a joke.

I spoke out and I said, Ooh, can we touch it? Acting like I wanted to touch the statue. The statue. It's like his jokes. Yeah. And then Robin Williams laughed and he was like, oh, haha. Made eye contact. And I was like, oh,

like a highlight, highlight. Full story. Like full circle. It, it's actually crazy. Patch Adams is about a psychologist that use mm-hmm. Uses humor in a healing way. And then now I'm a psychologist with the mission for preaching, the healing power of [00:01:00] humor. And a comedian, like, it's just nuts. I never

Jen Bordeaux: Hey, yo, we're back for another session of unfiltered, unplanned, rambling. I am Jen Bordo, 50% of this co-hosting situation and joined as always, always by the un incomparable, incomparable, incomparable. Whatever you are, deja,

DeJah Debon: guten tug.

Jen Bordeaux: You never know. It's, I [00:02:00] love your responses. You never know what's gonna gonna gonna.

What is going to come out there, man? Apparently I was not ready to get this started, but hello. To our listeners out there, thank you for joining us for another episode. We hope that you have been enjoying this journey with us, as we have Yes, we are back in the studio. By the time this episode comes out, it will be the end of April, but I would be remiss not to mention that it is Child Abuse Prevention Month.

And I didn't necessarily expect to start this off on a serious note, but here we are. This is something that is very near dear to my heart and I'm sure to our guests who we will get to in just a moment as well, as well as Dasia from different perspectives. Dasia has been a foster mom for several, several years, which is amazing and I would love to have you talk about that as well.

And I, in a previous life used to work with at-risk youth and juvenile delinquency or in a secure facility, and studies were in pathways delinquency and saw abuse. And now currently serve on the board for a nonprofit here in the area called Safe Child which stands for stop Abuse for Every Child.

[00:03:00] Amazing, amazing work that they do with the community, unfortunately, that is necessary. Yep. That doesn't get talked about nearly enough, but child abuse prevention month. So, you know, just keep that most vulnerable population in our community, in your mind, and in your hearts, and do what we can to uplift them.

And in your capacity with, with foster kids, how has that experience been for, for you? Deja, it was the greatest thing that I ever did.

DeJah Debon: It's the greatest thing I'll continue to do. And I love my, love my sons, and I'm taking applications for daughters.

Jen Bordeaux: This was a recent thing that you, you expressed to me, Uhhuh.

Yeah. That 'cause your boys are, are kind of aging into young adulthood.

DeJah Debon: My son going to his junior pro this weekend and I'm like, okay, maybe. And I thought start thinking about okay when I empty nest with him and then, you know, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I, I've been seeing some StepStone there's, you can go, there's multiple agencies.

You're not just the not having the need to go through the county or the state. There's [00:04:00] multiple Christian agencies as well as others now because the need is so, so, so, so exceptionally there kids are literally kind of stacked up like Cordwood mm-hmm. And warehouse buildings right now because people don't want teenagers.

But teenagers are children. And they, every kid goes into care not because of anything they did Yep. But because of the actions of their caregivers. Yep. So yeah, there are so many babies out there that need love and because of our opioid and meth epidemics and the number of kids just continues to rise.

Yeah. So,

Jen Bordeaux: yeah, so bringing awareness to that and, and on Save Child, the nonprofit that I work with that I have for years, and it's just, I learn so much every day. And the, the advocacy center that, that is there and the. Capacity that they've been able to increase with a new building that, that just happened about a year and a half ago and, and everything.

And then you, and that, when I say advocacy center, it's, it's intervention, right? It's almost like on one side you've got the, the medical, the very heart [00:05:00] tugging stories that you hear about abuse and fear, neglect and things, the physical side of it. And on the other side, there's the preventative piece and the educational piece that have all kinds of parenting program.

Another facet to that, another area organization in the area that I've had some involvement with, and I know that you serve on the board for is the Hope Center at Poland. Mm-hmm. Which is an organization that really addresses a gap population not many people think about, which is young adults aging out of foster care.

Yeah. So that's another, so all of those teenagers that I

DeJah Debon: just mentioned that are Yeah. They're, they're orphans who then just get kicked to the streets. Mm-hmm. And we wonder why they're, their rates of, you know, not successfully completing high school, their rates of taking their own lives. Just the sheer overwhelming desperation.

Desperation of getting swallowed by adulthood.

Jen Bordeaux: Yep. I mean, listen, people in quote unquote healthy situations like get swallowed by adulthood. Exactly. So it, it is so having,

DeJah Debon: imagine having no guidance. No one taught you how to do [00:06:00] anything. Yeah. Anything to be able to truly take care of yourself and, and remain safe and have those basic elements.

A roof, water. Yeah. Yeah. Just basic food. You know, it, it's. Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard. It's hard. It's hard because it's, it's it's real. It is real and it's real in our communities. We've got kids living in camps here, you know?

Jen Bordeaux: Yep. And someone that can really speak to all of this that has a very, very in depth different perspective that I met, I don't even know how many years ago it has been now, but when, when I used to work in family law.

We have the wonderful Dr. Kristen winds joining us today. Wait, clap one of these days. We're gonna nail it. Yes, Daja, thanks for, for picking that up. So Dr. Wynns has Wynn's family psychology. You've, you've had the practice for over 17 years now. Yeah. Awesome. Multiple locations. Where are all your locations now in the [00:07:00] area?

We just

Kiki Wynns: added the fourth baby to the group. So we have Carrie, north Raleigh, Greensboro, and our newest Quana. Oh nice. Which, if you don't know, is hot, hot, hot. Yes. So I was like, I gotta get my practice in there. 'cause there's definitely a need there. Mm-hmm. It's a little bit more rural and I actually kind of grew up in that area, so my heart is with Oh, nice.

Harnett County in that area. So it was very exciting to be able to open up there in February.

Jen Bordeaux: Nice. Very cool. Well, congratulations on all of your success and obviously means you're doing something right and how this all really ties in and would love to hear, I mean. You know why you chose 'cause you're a child psychologist, correct?

That's correct. And we came into contact with working in family law and you are one of the few that is not afraid to testify in court if need be. Right. For li for custody litigation and thank you things. I like

Kiki Wynns: it.

Jen Bordeaux: Mm-hmm. Yeah. So would love to hear, I mean obviously we, we opened up talking about child abuse Woo.

You know, dark topic, but it needs a lot of light shown on it. Yeah. So just but

Kiki Wynns: common.

Jen Bordeaux: Yes. And, and I would just love to hear, share with our [00:08:00] audience, you know, like how you, why you chose maybe child psychology, like how you got into it, how that journey's been, all that fun stuff. Sure.

Kiki Wynns: And can I just say that was the hardest seven minutes of my life watching y'all have that conversation, but I hadn't been introduced yet.

I just, I know. I wish I could say something. So thanks for letting join in the, the con now. Of course. Yeah. So, I always say I, I think I'm unusual in that they say most people change their major a zillion times their career so many times. And when I took my first psychology class in high school, I knew that's what I wanted to do with my life.

And then I've always loved kids. So I just majored in psychology, went to grad school shortly, a year after college, got my PhD in clinical psych, specializing in kids and teens and really never looked back. So it is kind of more recently, you know, when you get in your forties, you start to finally get [00:09:00] wise and I just turned 50.

So now I'm crazy wise, super wise, all of the wisdom. Yeah. Yeah. But this is gonna sound silly, but it was really only over the last maybe decade or so that I realized Oh, right. And also I have a calling to help children and teens because when I was a kid growing up, tough times, you know, all. All the story.

Everybody has tough moments, but back then there really weren't like child psychology practices or my parents never even mentioned, Hey, now we could get you some help to deal to deal with this or that. So, no, I'm sorry. That's funny. Just thinking

DeJah Debon: about, I'm, I'm 45 this year, so Yeah, sure. Right back in the eighties.

Oh, sure, honey, we're just gonna take you to the therapist. Yeah, no, it wasn't trendy. It wasn't, we're not gonna talk about that because we're not gonna take it outside of the family because we don't want Ethel down on the corner to know

Kiki Wynns: Ethel. A hundred percent. Yeah. So I realize now like, oh, duh. I mean, I was called to that because I do think it's a gift to give your [00:10:00] kids or teens or family or parents therapy testing to figure out, well, what is going on?

It's a gift. Mm-hmm. And then surprise, surprise, I specialize in high conflict divorce situations, and my parents divorced when I was a kid. And you know, my heart for being there for the kids and not choosing team mom or dad. Mm-hmm. But just being there for the kids is really important to me. And I was like, oh, I bet that's part of why I specialized in that too.

So I just figure out Thank you so much

DeJah Debon: though. 'cause it's so medically necessary what you do. Yes. Thank you. For holistically, it's not that the child with a family too, but that Absolutely. The child medically needs that. I did the, the concept that mental health is something separate from our medical needs.

Oh, I know. Is just, or just overall. I would love to see wellness and health. Yes. Yes. But especially, again, kids because how, how much do we know now about the fundamentals of what happens to us when we're young? That's right. How it translates.

Kiki Wynns: That's right. Yeah. It's, [00:11:00] it's so important. And I'm really fortunate and blessed that it started off just me.

In 2007 in a part-time shared office in Durham with somebody else's furniture. And then by the way, that year had a recession in case you just wanna remember not the advice time to start a, a business, but it was one of those stories that I actually love to embrace. 'cause I love to talk about how failure just opens the next door.

Mm-hmm. And that's kind of how I started my practice with something that I didn't expect and see with my employment. And then I was like, well, I'll just start my own thing. So it started on my own, but now through the years with these four locations, I've attracted other therapists and psychologists that have that heart for kids and teens.

'cause I couldn't do all that we've done on my own. So now I've got this amazing team that has the same heart for kids and we're able to touch so many lives across North Carolina now. So it is, it, it's exciting and, and really an honor to be able to do that work and still enjoy it [00:12:00] after all this time.

DeJah Debon: Oh yeah, because I mean, I bet you've.

Heard some brutal, brutal things, so Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Yes. Yeah. For plus, for sure. And I know with

Jen Bordeaux: you mentioned that you focus and specialize in the, the high conflict custody. Mm-hmm. And that I can bring in parenting coordinators, court ordered custody evaluations parenting, you know, like all that kind of stuff.

So do you think that, and from now that, I mean, I've moved on from the family law world, but it will always hold like the most special place in my heart. Sure. And what. I felt like my time towards the end of my time there, there was such a backlog, like nobody had availability for custody evaluations. And I know that they are very intensive and expensive to do, but do you think that's a result of like there being so many custody valuations, do you feel that it is a result of court leaning more into that society, understanding the importance of a mental health evaluation in [00:13:00] that process?

A combo neither? Like what are your thoughts on that?

Kiki Wynns: Yeah, maybe. Maybe a combination, but honestly we've seen in my practice, the number one sort of court related service that we get by the waves is reunification therapy, where judges are ordering that because after a divorce or intense custody situation, there's a rift between the parent and child or children.

So much of that, and oftentimes we all know it's sometimes the other parent that has gotten in the way. So we get. So many referrals for that, because I think it is, so, it's predominantly court ordered it, well, or, or related, we call it it, right, right. Where an attorney will say, Hey, like, this kid is refusing now to go visit dad.

Mm-hmm. He's gotta see him, but we don't want to force him necessarily. So then they're sent to my practice. And my team, especially the psychologist that runs that department for me, for forensic services Dr. Thomas, they do [00:14:00] amazing work to help heal that rift and oftentimes have success where the kid was like, I don't need a mom, I don't need a dad.

And then next thing you know, eight months later, they're going on family vacation together and it's, yeah. Enjoying it. So I, I think there's much more awareness though for the need for professionals to get involved when the parents just can't really see beyond their upset feelings

Jen Bordeaux: are there. And I, I don't know that there's tons of.

Practices in the area that offer reunification therapy? I don't think so.

Kiki Wynns: That's why, speaking of the backlog, like that's the only thing we will carry a wait list for. We're really fortunate we can get everybody in immediately for any testing, any therapy, parent work. Sure. But the reunification therapy does get a little bit backed up because it's difficult work.

It's challenging. That's term work stressful. Right? It's like, yeah. Usually somebody's mad at you. Mm-hmm. Either one parent, both parents, the kid, kid, everybody, the attorney. Right. [00:15:00] So you have to have a thick skin and just keep coming back to the calling and the, the heart for the work. So yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Do you have any instances with that where it kind of comes to a, like this is just unfortunately unsuccessful, like the, the reunification is just not gonna happen for, and that's in the best interest of the kid?

Or, I mean, how does that Ugh. Go?

Kiki Wynns: Honestly, it's usually when one parent ends it really before. We would recommend or before they're supposed to. Unfortunately, I mean, you can't make, yeah, you can't force them. Somebody keep participating. So sometimes if a parent's like, this isn't good for him, it's not healthy, we're not gonna keep this up anymore, then our hands are tied.

So yeah, sometimes you don't see it all the way through to successful outcome, but we really try our best to, to do what we can to get 'em to the other side.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah. Do you, in that scenario, when I'm thinking you're working with the entire family, is the, the focus, you know, I [00:16:00] mean, you hear like in, you know, court of law, best interest of the child Yes.

Or children. Yes. So when you're in PA reunification therapy, and so you've got the child or children and both parents, is it the foundationally, is it still what is in the best interest of the kids? Like do the. I, I can imagine, especially if it's high conflict there for the parents, which they wouldn't be there if it wasn't.

Mm-hmm. That, that has gotta make it extremely, I mean, difficult and the dynamic there. So do you always have to kind of go back to what's best for the kid right now?

Kiki Wynns: Yes, but, or maybe I think you're supposed to say yes and yeah. And unfortunately sometimes what is in the best interest of the child, the child doesn't agree.

Mm-hmm. So then it is kind of like when we treat a child with anxiety, if they have social anxiety and they really, really, really don't want to go to school or order for themselves or look the target person in the eye, and I'm doing the tough work to say, well, we gotta just face this fear. And [00:17:00] the kid is like, no.

And they're mad and miserable and the parents are like, do we really have to? So it's sort of like that sometimes. What's best for the kid? Involves them doing. Yeah. Wanna, what they don't wanna do. And you have to see the bigger picture that this is in your best in interest. Yeah. So, that's where it gets tricky because yeah, I guess how that's defined Yeah.

Is, is different sometimes for the, for the different parties, but there's a lot of like tough love and trying to have that perfect blend of compassion and assertiveness and no nonsense. And I know I get it, but we are gonna do that FaceTime with your parent today, or we are gonna meet up at the ice cream shop.

We have a really cool, graduated process. So it's never like you're going to see your parent, you don't wanna see for the whole weekend. It's like, well first let's FaceTime him for five minutes. Okay, now let's read a letter from him. Okay, now let's have him. Meet us at the coffee shop close [00:18:00] by and get a drink, and I'll be there the whole time.

So it's a really nice, gentle process, but we're always moving it forward, like, okay, well we've been at this stage, now we're going to the next one. Mm-hmm.

Jen Bordeaux: In, in those scenarios, do you, I'm so fascinated by all this, do you work, do you have individual work with the parents as well? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or, okay. I was, I wondered how that structure worked.

If it was like everybody's all together all the time. No. Like go working through this or, yeah. It

Kiki Wynns: kind of depends, but oftentimes it's like, first you're getting the kid ready for the process. Mm-hmm. Then you're talking to the parents about their roles. Then you're putting the kid in the parent together.

Oh. Now this parent, the custodial parent that's in good terms is upset. Okay. Let's do a session with you and remind you why you need to be the cheerleader. Mm-hmm. And supportive of this. So it does, it's kind of like a beautiful. Dance that is like,

DeJah Debon: but also it also, it sounds like, and it's one of the things I appreciated, 'cause of course with, with foster kids, they all are mandated to go to therapy.

Oh yeah. Oh, thanks. We Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Thank thank you for Hope [00:19:00] services. Yeah. And the bringing the parents to where the kid is at

Kiki Wynns: mm-hmm.

DeJah Debon: Because the kids trauma makes them grow up so fast and they're already in a world where, right. Yeah. They have to do everything that the adults say. Right. So when it comes to healing that trauma, that was one thing that I've noticed when I was like, oh, okay.

You can't force them, but yeah, if you bring it to them mm-hmm. And it's kinda like, okay, where, where you're at little bit by bit. Right. Yeah. Far more receptive than the. Mandating, right? Mm-hmm. Like, yeah.

Kiki Wynns: You just did your As SMR voice again when you did that part? Yes. I was part was think of the same thing.

I was like, oh, did you notice that right away? I noticed it. That's so funny. I'm just,

Jen Bordeaux: no, but that was, yeah. That's awesome. What do you, I mean, is there ever a time that you feel like it's gotten so like disheartening at all that you're like. I don't like compassion fatigue or you know, anything in that realm mature [00:20:00] like, I don't know.

I mean, I know you've got a great team that surround you, but like, I don't know if I had moments of questioning like, if you could continue on this path. Oh yeah.

Kiki Wynns: I mean, quite honestly, just for my own self-care, I knew when I reached the point where I had to take less of those cases and then take a break just for my own mental health.

And right now at the stage where I am with my practice, shockingly this year, 2025 represents 25 years. Ooh. Of being a psychologist. I got my master's degree in 2000, so I'm counting that as the Yeah, of course. But 25 years. That's, that's awesome. Just in general, clinically, I'm, I'm kind of at that point where I'm loving the work.

I still have a small caseload, but I'm also ready for the next chapter, ready to do more practice management, big vision stuff, and this other career that I picked up that I know we're gonna talk about. Yeah, I was gonna say,

DeJah Debon: so is that where this new hobby now career has grown from [00:21:00] that, that healing need to kind of separate from the, you know, the Macab two?

Kiki Wynns: Yeah. Well, I don't know if we're making the leap into that whole Let's, I mean,

Jen Bordeaux: listen, you've got 25 years of, of material to draw from. That's right. Yes. And if you've, if you've listened to prior episodes the last, the last episode that just air. Yeah. The last two episodes I had had to do the time warp.

Right. That just aired. We met our previous guest because of Dr. Wyn. Yeah. So if you listen to that. Cool. Thank you. If you haven't go back. Great. Listen to it. Great episode. Great episode. It made me many times. Thank, thank you. You know that Brett was a, or is a comedian and mm-hmm. So since we met her through Dr.

Wynn's. Yeah. That also means that Dr. Wynn's AKA Kiki. Yes. Let's win Kiki.

Joe Woolworth: Hey guys, I'm

Jen Bordeaux: here. Thanks

Joe Woolworth: for having me. She's

Jen Bordeaux: also comedian and we, we [00:22:00] spoke previously about the, on a different episode, about the Gallant Times's Day event that we attended. And you, so you have started, I mean like LA Ladies Laugh Lounge at Goodnight's Comedy here in Raleigh, right?

Kiki Wynns: Yeah. So that's kind of. I guess my biggest movement so far, I call it my mission. It's a comedy show with a mission. But to backtrack, to DIA's question, like how on earth when I already had a very full man, like, that's what I was like, is running running a private practice? Did I mention I have children and a husband and a husband and a dog and laundry, but it was a hundred percent self care.

Post covid. So in, okay. 20, 21 a year after Covid that summer, I was a hot mess like that, wear and tear. So there was like adrenaline for many of us for 2020, like mm-hmm And that was me. I was worried about keeping my private practice [00:23:00] going. I wanted to make sure my staff could still make their money, pay their bills.

I was trapped in a house with teenagers and pretty sure they weren't learning anything in virtual school. Yeah. My husband and I were trapped in the house and I was like, Ooh, is our marriage gonna be able to survive? It was so much stress. Yeah. So by the time I got to summer of 2021, I realized my stress, ma, my anxiety was sky high and I wanted to take my own advice.

I'd done so many webinars and podcasts during Covid. I saying, Hey, find something for yourself. Find a hobby or a creative outlet or something just for you. So I took my own advice and I signed up for an improv comedy class. Which, do y'all know? Like that's more the team sport? Like who's line is it anyway?

Yes. Okay. Yeah, so I took that, loved it. And, and by the way, I did it all by myself, which is sometimes hard for me 'cause I have an identical twin, as y'all heard. Mm-hmm. I think in this show. So I'm like a we person, like I like to have my [00:24:00] person there with me, but I did it all by myself. I was super scared, but I loved it.

And then from there I realized that I, I like to control the, the content and stand up as more you write the material versus improv is kind of, you're just riffing off of each other. And quite honestly, I do not mind a spotlight shine of me. That's why court testimony. Yeah. Right. Let's go. Everybody in the courtroom staring at me where I'm like, next question please.

Let's go. Mm-hmm. So I kind of drifted then to a standup class and then bravely terrified summer of 2022. I did my first open mic after a DARE for my best friend where she knew I was into comedy. We talked about it and she also knows that my tie for my top three love languages, my husband says I call dibs on all of them, but I really do have an order.

But quality time is really important to me. So she told me that she and her husband would go camping with me and my husband if I did this four [00:25:00] minute open mic. So I signed up, went to Raleigh Improv, which no longer does open mics, and I tell people that I'm an adrenaline junkie. I love any kind of physical excursion.

Brave thing. I'll eat anything. It's crazy. It's not crazy. It put you on Fear factor. Yeah, yeah. On that kind of personality. But being backstage when my name was called for that open mic, I have never been more crippled with fear. Like I actually thought I might just dissolve into powder with fear. I was so scared.

But then I went out, I did it. It actually went really well. It was a very successful set. Four minutes and then after three open mics at Raleigh Improv. Then they actually contacted me to book me for a paid show and, and I was like. Wait, is this a joke? Yeah. And my husband, he's always like the rational, one of the couple.

He was like, you need to be careful. This could be a scam and you need to double [00:26:00] check. And I was like, okay, I'll, but it was real. So they had, like, back then they recorded their open mics and kind of scouted for talent. Mm-hmm. And people they liked. So after three open mics, they liked me, booked me for a paid gig, and then it was kind of off and running from there, where I call it my Cinderella story, where I had this series of lightning strike moments where I was just right place, right time, and had really amazing things happen in the almost three years since then.

So was that the

Jen Bordeaux: official gig that you met Craig Shoemaker? It's okay. It's so tell, so tell us that story. Yeah. What that led to. Yeah.

Kiki Wynns: So again, like picture baby Kiki, like brand new to comedy, that was my first booked paid gig and Craig Shoemaker. Not everybody knows him these days, but back in the day he was a big deal.

When I was in college in Raleigh, he would come to Goodnight's Comedy Club and I would go and see him. He's the Love Master. He has this really famous bit that's the Love Master. So he's [00:27:00] been on Netflix and Prime and won all these awards. So he was there, his show was wrapping up when our cute little local show was supposed to come on.

So he was hanging out in the green room where the comedians hang out before, and the other comedians would kind of just like peek in there and say, oh, Craig Shoemaker's in there. And they would, you know, bolt. But I am kind of a bold, confident personality. That's awesome. So I went in there and I was like.

Craig Shoemaker. Oh my gosh, I used to come see you when I was in my twenties. I love your work. This is so exciting. And then I was like, this is my first time ever doing a paid gig. Are you gonna stay? Will you stay and watch me? And he was like I'll try. And I was like, okay. Better than a no. Yes. And then amazingly I go up on stage.

I think my very first show was maybe like a five to seven minute set. Mm-hmm. I did it. I left the stage. I came in the back and he was outside of the green room waiting [00:28:00] for me. And he was like, that was really good. You've really got something special. Like you've got that it factor. And I was like, oh my gosh, thank you.

So I was thrilled. And then. We probably murmured something else. And then I started following him on Instagram and then I posted about that, like, oh my gosh, Craig Shoemaker. Then he liked it and I was freaking out. Craig Shoemaker liked my post. And then amazingly we started, I probably DMed him, like just saying like, Hey, if you ever need somebody to open for you yeah, a bear, right?

And we kind of went back and forth and he was very kind to even write back and stay in touch. And then, so that was like my first ever open mic was July. I was booked for that first ever gig in like November. And then in. March of that next year. He actually had me open for him in Charlotte at the Comedy zone.

What a full time show shirt. Like That's awesome. [00:29:00] That is very, very cool. Yeah. Love it. It was amazing. Amazing. And then since then, I opened for him in Atlanta for a whole weekend of shows, which was my first time ever doing four shows in one weekend. Wow. Where I was like, wait, I've already said this joke.

That was rough. Like that was difficult. And then really cool, like full circle. Then I opened for him at Raleigh Improv then for my third time. So that was just a really cool, affirming start to comedy that, I mean, he has been around for like 30 years doing comedy, so just to have him even think I had some talent.

It's like your comedy, comedy mentor.

Jen Bordeaux: Like, I love the, like I, I don't know, idol's a strong word, but like a mentor. It's also such a great lesson of like. Take the risk, like shoot your shot. True. So true. Like I have grown up with my bonus dad. Bonus dad saying, closed mouth don't get fed. Mm-hmm. Oh, I like that.

And I like that. That has to, and so like hearing your story, like had you not popped in there so excited to be like, [00:30:00] screw it, I'm gonna go say hi. You know? And asking for him to stick around like so many people that miss those opportunities, miss other opportunities and you didn't and that's great. Like, that's awesome.

Mm-hmm.

Kiki Wynns: That's so true. And do you wanna hear a quick side story Yes. Of how that same mentality had me make Robin Williams laugh? Yes. What?

Joe Woolworth: This isn't even

Kiki Wynns: in any form. No, I love this. So, he filmed Patch Adams. Y'all know that movie? Yeah. Oh my gosh. So good. Yes. At UNC Chapel Hill, the campus. So he happened to be filming that when I was in my gap year between college and grad school.

I was just getting more research experience living in Chapel Hill. So somehow I found out that they needed extras for that film. So I was on set. I was some person that walked on campus. You can't see me, so don't look for me in the movie, but at one point, Robin Williams came right to my group of extras, like from me to you, three, four feet away.

And he started just being funny, like just doing like characters and [00:31:00] talking. So at some point he morphed into this character where he was pretending to be a tour guide at a museum. Okay. And acting like he had a statue there, like a statue of David. Now it's this been like 20, 30 years. So. It. The memory is a little fuzzy, but basically I made a joke.

I spoke out and I said, Ooh, can we touch it? Acting like I wanted to touch the statue. The statue. It's like his jokes. Yeah. And then Robin Williams laughed and he was like, oh, haha. Made eye contact. And I was like, oh,

like a highlight, highlight. Full story. Like full circle. It, it's actually crazy. Patch Adams is about a psychologist that use mm-hmm. Uses humor in a healing way. And then now I'm a psychologist with the mission for preaching, the healing power of humor. And a comedian, like, it's just nuts. I never so cool.

Love it. Never would've foreseen that coming eventually some days. So now it's an even cooler story to tell people, [00:32:00] just like, holy cow, full

Jen Bordeaux: circle. Yeah. I love, and I also just to be able to, I think for you to have that experience with. The soul that Robin Williams I know is, was however you wanna look at it.

Oh God, yeah. Like gone too soon. Like an an angel that we, we lost unfortunately to Yes. To mental health. I know. Yep. But that's, to be able to have that exp like, I don't know. That's just validating so much of like what you're doing now. You didn't even know that that moment happening all those years ago.

Right. Would, would come to this, you know, the circumstances amazing. That's awesome. Yes. So cool. I'm just like, ah. So I love all the, the, the healing power of humor. Couldn't agree more. Yes. That's. Kind of, this is our, this podcast is our, our creative outlet and, and offers, I think, healing for us just to be able to Yeah.

Not, not have to worry about a filter of what we're saying, right. Or the thoughts that we're having and, you know, all that kind of stuff. And so I love that piece of it. And then your other mission, as I understand it through comedy, is to lift other female comics up. That's right. Which I think is amazing because I do think you, you've [00:33:00] got some of your bigger names, you know, Nikki Glacier Eliza Schlesinger, like female comics that, and ones that, you know, they're predecessors as well.

Yeah. But it seems like female comics have gotten a bad rap compared to male comics. Mm-hmm. And we don't hate men on this podcast at all. Right. But it's, it's. I just, I love that mission as well. And you know, so the ladies laugh lounge, like how did that come about?

Kiki Wynns: Yeah, so it is funny know, I feel like I'm such an old woman connecting dots everywhere, but that also feels like a really cool journey where now looking back, I see how things clicked into place.

So, you know, I'm a child of a single mom who raised three daughters and she was like such an impressive, ambitious woman where she was raising three kids, working a job for very little money. And then while we were teenager, she got her bachelor's degree. And then when we were in high school and then when we went to college, she got her master's degree.

So super impressive. Like [00:34:00] role model. Yes. Women can do whatever they want. Then I went to a women's college in Raleigh, what used to be Peace College is now. Mm-hmm. William Peace University. Right. That's all about women can be leaders. Like they were very big on, we don't say girls, we say women, and we can be leaders and do whatever we want.

So I kind of had that like thumping in my veins and I'm like, girl boss, I founded my practice. Mm-hmm. It's my baby. I'm a little bit unusual. It's still weird when I fill out tax forms or something. I, and you check the minority things and it says woman, female owned business. And I'm like, well, yeah, okay. I guess that's still a category.

Okay. Yeah. So all that. Then when I get into comedy. It's really interesting. It's, it feels like an old boy's network for sure. Even in the local scene, I would go to open mics and all the guys would stand around and stand outside and smoke together, and I would just be like, Ooh, oh, cool. There's another girl here.

Yeah. So, [00:35:00] and then you see, if you read the, you know, any kind of comedy club's website with who's coming, it's heavy. Mm-hmm. Men, men, men, men. It's just, they book each other. They're the bookers, they're the comedians. So I just started to notice that and I just got really excited to maybe have a space where I could showcase women and show that we could pack a comedy club just like the Men.

So Goodnight's Comedy Club. I will say they were. They were very kind to take a chance on me. They, they basically reached out last year to say, Hey, we like your stuff. We'll give you a show. What do you wanna do? And I actually pitched two things. I pitched the mental health side, like, oh, we could do a mental health one 'cause there's probably other people that talk about mental health or they're in the field, or I have this idea for a ladies only show that's just showcasing ladies.

And we really hyped that [00:36:00] up and they're like let's do the ladies one. And that was kind of where I had more energy so that ladies Laugh. Lounge was born last year where we had our first show in August of 2024. And. That one was in the smaller room at Goodnights. Mm-hmm. That only seats 75 people, and it sold out like that.

Like it sold out in a week or two, and we were like, wow. So then we booked the next one in October. That was the spooky edition in the main room. And it was, you know, over 200 people there. And, and remember, like Goodnights has mostly famous nationally touring comedians come through. Mm-hmm. And I was a no name, still pretty new comedian with my lineup of women that packed the main room.

Yeah. So it was, it just felt like such an achievement. And also like that we had tapped into something Yeah. That was meaningful to people where when you get women supporting women. With the right energy. It is Oh, powerful. A beautiful thing. I mean, you all were there for it, for the Gallatine [00:37:00] show then, which was the third one?

The energy in the room. Yeah. And the excitement and the cheering. It's just so special. So that is, that is my mission and my cause to just try to keep it going face

DeJah Debon: hurting. Yeah. I did. I love, do we need a, a facial break? Yes. Yes. So yes. It was such a good show. It was so good. Oh yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: We had, and, and funny enough, like Deja and I had been talking about, how we both love standup and neither one of us had been to a show in a while. And so, oh, fast forward to, we went to speaking of male comics to Kevin Neely mm-hmm. That we kneeling. Did Oh, okay. Kneeling, kneeling, kneeling. Sorry. Yeah. My bad, Kevin. Mm-hmm. Like he's listening. He felt so

DeJah Debon: traumatized because I was hitting on him with my eyes.

Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Did he

DeJah Debon: reciprocate? I I tried to do it with Tim Meadows too. See, I have an old school, SNL, like probably high school fantasy thing going on here, so, yes. Yeah.

Kiki Wynns: Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: They're icons. Old man. Yeah. With

DeJah Debon: me, front row. I like

Jen Bordeaux: it. It was Well, and so that's the thing. So our tickets [00:38:00] originally we were one table back from the front row.

Okay, nice. And then there was a table that was right there at the stage that was empty. And so we had one of the staff there at Good Nights come up to us and say, Hey, if by X time nobody's there you guys to move up there. Oh, nice. So then she came up there and she's like, Hey, go ahead. You guys move up there.

So we did. Wow. And then Dasia with her name, at some point Kevin came over and asked her what her name was and, and she was like, Dasia. And he was like, oh, I'm having. Vu right now. You know, like deja vu, like Oh my, it was, it was so funny. That was so

Kiki Wynns: funny. Oh my gosh. You had your moment with him. I did. Like I did with

Joe Woolworth: Robin Williams.

I did.

Kiki Wynns: Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: It, it was great. And then, so at the same time, like Deja at a few weeks before that, gotten the tickets for that show. And then shortly after that I started seeing your posts and promos for the late, for the Gallant Times's Day comedy. I was like, Hey, you wanna go to this one too? And she was like, hell yeah.

Oh, that's so cool. So then the next week we were, we were back at good nights and we had, you know, front row again. So we were right there at the little curve stage. Nice. Mm-hmm. So it, it was great. We were, I mean, you [00:39:00] know, I mean, pretty much laughing the entire time. Oh yeah. It was great. It was a really good show.

It was a

Kiki Wynns: great, a great lineup. And did y'all like the moment where the day of, I said to my husband, I just keep having this vision with Gallatine Day that I need to embrace a diva moment. So I had this white fur jacket and I was like, yep, I'm gonna see with a security guard. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I'm gonna see if they will let me get a security guard to act like I'm Whitney Houston or something and come out there.

So then it actually all worked. Like I talked to the security guard and he agreed and the manager was like, wait, what are you doing with my security card? And I was like, it's a part of my entrance. Please allow, allow this. Yeah, a headliner. Okay. So did you not see the fur jacket? Yeah. I just loved that because I like for this show to not feel like your average comedy show.

I want it to feel like you don't know when I'm gonna be throwing stuff from this stage. We got the music pumping, we got the raffle giveaways, we have the diva moment, so I [00:40:00] really just want it to feel. Special every time and different, like you don't really know what to expect, but it's gonna be high energy, entertaining and not your average comedy show.

Yeah,

Jen Bordeaux: yeah. No, it was a great time. It was great for Gallant Times's. There were, yeah. There was so much red and pink in the room. Yes. Yes. And I think there were maybe, maybe, maybe less than a handful of, of gentlemen in the room as well. Mm-hmm. But I

Kiki Wynns: think I

Jen Bordeaux: counted

Kiki Wynns: like this time, maybe 10 to 15, which is more than previous shows.

So each time we get a few more brave souls that start to come. So who knows what the Mother's Day edition will hold, but I like that some of them bravely show up. And the first show ever was honestly my husband and my nephew. Awesome. For the guys in the crowd. So at least we've expanded a bit beyond

Jen Bordeaux: that.

That's awesome. [00:41:00] So what 'cause I think. I, I think, 'cause you know, when you go to Goodnight's website and you're going to book, like they have like your bio there, right? And I, and part of what they had up there is that, you know, that you offer or support, do whatever you wanna call it, like quote unquote clean [00:42:00] comedy.

Right. So has, has that, have you gotten like backlash from that? Like what, what is your, 'cause I know one of the things later on down in the questionnaire, you like, the last thing that made me go Hmm Yes. Was the how people can be really dramatic and mean in the comedy world. Yes. So

Kiki Wynns: yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Elaborate

Kiki Wynns: on that if you don't mind.

Yeah. Well, and so now it's already like, spoiler alert from listening to Brett's episode that y'all don't like the clean. Y'all want it? Dirty. Dirty. We're dirty, dirty. But here's we're dirty dirties. Here's what I say to that. Y'all saw my set. Don't you agree that I'm cleaned, but I still. Can tackle the subjects that are cool.

How much did you hear about my middle aged sex? With my husband? Yes. Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: And being naked and Yeah. It, congratulations by the way. No, it's, it's, we're still, we're still trying. Yeah. By clean we don't mean, it just means like not filled with tons of cuss words. Pretty much.

Kiki Wynns: So my whole thing with that is twofold.

So one, it just aligns with my values. Sure. I mean, I am a, I'm a Christian woman, so I [00:43:00] don't, I do curse when I stub my toe when I get really upset. But I try to just, you know, reflect my faith. So from that standpoint, I wanted to be clean. And then the more important one, well, okay, at least a tie important is I believe that if you do clean comedy, you have to be more sophisticated with your writing.

'cause I've been to a lot of shows where. Especially guys, they'll just be up there super crass. Crude. Mm-hmm. It is not even funny. Nor does it even make sense. Yeah. But if it has enough body parts and description, people are dying laughing and I'm like, or, or there's me is funny.

DeJah Debon: I just, my face is just a bucket of worms.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean there's just lay it Larry Laser eyes just staring the, I've been to shows like that and I'm like, you are horrible. It's not honey, but they, they will get the cheap laugh. So, but look, yeah. It's always just a dumb ass drunk in the back.

Kiki Wynns: I've been to, I've been to many shows where it's many people [00:44:00] laughing sometimes, so I just, I want my humor to be something that I've thought out that gets the chuckle because it just lands with people.

We're like, oh, that's so true. Yeah. That's so funny. And actually a real compliment after the last show, one of the women in my show texted me or, or. Whatever, dmd me and said, Hey, I just wanna tell you, I'm so excited now to do more clean comedy, because I felt like that was the best set of my life because I had to think more carefully.

Mm-hmm. About the content. Mm-hmm. And how I would portray it. So she was saying she was excited to do more of that. So I do, I guess, have a bias that it makes you really be thoughtful about. Your writing and your delivery and not just rely on the shock factor to get people to do a nervous laugh. You taking the person

DeJah Debon: along in the joke, right.

Versus just

Kiki Wynns: blah.

DeJah Debon: Right.

Kiki Wynns: You in the face with it. Maybe literally with the joke there. And God

DeJah Debon: forbid you make us think a little bit, then laugh. Right? That's the best

Kiki Wynns: as if I say [00:45:00] something and then there's like a quick second or two and then it people process it. Oh, and then all the laughter comes. That's when you hear my, yeah.

Yeah. I had, I had somebody

Jen Bordeaux: listen to the podcast and they got back to me. They were like. Do you know that Deja kind of has like a, like a Hispanic kind of like sounding like you, you sound like you're like, you're Oh my gosh. And I was like, I never have, but now I can't unhear it anytime I go back and listen to an episode.

Oh, that's amazing. It's great. It makes me laugh every time. Really funny. So, I even, you know, I mean like, obviously live stand up, but even there's been folks that have like specials on Netflix and stuff that it'll start off, like, there was one, I think we were actually watching together and I was like, if this isn't change, like they're gonna lose us.

Oh. It was very brash and vulgar. Just like, and I was like, this isn't even like landing. Well, you know? Right. And, and, and we were, we were at risk of turning it off and then it kind of turned and, and got much better Yeah. And everything, but but yeah, I think maybe that's a crutch that some people may lean on too heavily.

So.

Kiki Wynns: Yeah. And, and as far as getting. Backlash. I don't [00:46:00] know about that. I do know there's like certain areas of North Carolina that really just want the more hardcore, little bit crude, crass. So when I've been in front of those crowds and two or three people go before me and it's all just extremely graphic sex jokes.

Mm-hmm. And the crowd is dying, I start to get nervous. Mm. And I'm thinking Uhoh, you know, it's really funny, one of those, or that show I'm thinking of in a kind of military town, heavy male my kids actually went to this show, so they're 21 and 19. And my husband, 'cause we made a beach day out of it, then went over and it's so funny, my oldest daughter told me when she heard the first few come up, she started thinking I never would've, like thought this before, but I really hope mom does all of her sex jokes, all of her naked jokes, because she knew this crowd

Joe Woolworth: would not, you

Kiki Wynns: had to compete, right? Yeah. So [00:47:00] normally she and her sister are, are saying like, please, how many jokes are you doing about dad? Oh God. Have about that. Not so many, but that night she was like, cheering for me.

Please do your That's awesome. Most like envelope pushing stuff because this crowd will not be happy with just anything. Yeah. That's hilarious

Jen Bordeaux: man. I, I love it. I love something that is, that is different that, that makes someone stand out, you know, in such a good way. And sticking to that and being like, no, I feel like having cleaner comedy and really by clean it's just, it's not vulgar.

Like, you know? Right.

Kiki Wynns: It's not just lots of f-bombs. Right. Basically. Yeah. It's

Jen Bordeaux: being true and authentic to yourself. Yeah. And saying like, oh, you're gonna have to dig deeper. You're not gonna be able to just rely on this. So kudos to you. I think that's great. Yeah.

Kiki Wynns: Awesome. Thank you. And you know, when I would do chats with Craig s Shoemaker and he was.

In a cool mentor role with me, he told me that one of the funniest things that makes a comedian stand out is what makes you unique. And I have some things with being a psychologist, having an [00:48:00] identical twin. So I do think the crowd really responds to that when I just, or even if I share observations in life that are strange and unique, like I think I did the bit with where the show where you guys were about my irrational fears, where I have this fear that my arms keep growing longer.

Yes. 'cause that is legit a fear. My twin and I talk about it, we look at our shirts and we're like, what is happening here? Our arms are growing. So just that unique thing where I think, I think things, and I say things that other people would just keep to themselves. I, I believe that's part of why I've had success is the crowd likes that.

If you just, also, the self-deprecating thing, I talk about having a DHD. And that battle and that I'm a psychologist that's supposed to be good at feelings, but I stuff all mine and pour a lot of bourbon on it. Right, right, right. So I think like authenticity and having a unique voice that just says things that are [00:49:00] unique to you, I, I have been hopeful and, and seeing some confirmation that that lands with the audience too.

Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah. Well, it, it's real, it's relatable. Right, right. Like how many people in that audience for the show that we were at it probably, you know, have had, we've all had, whether diagnosed or not, like a DH ADHD moments. Yes. Or these crazy things we think about, you know, so, no, I think it's great. Have you ever, and I know obviously not like.

Breaching any sort of like HIPAA confidentiality or anything like that. But do you draw from your experience or like clients, not in a unprofessional way, but like for some of these life experiences and tales and stuff like that for comedy, it's so

Kiki Wynns: funny. That's probably the number one question I get.

And honestly, my answer is I have done zero jokes drawn from my clients. It's really strange. I didn't necessarily, you've got enough of

DeJah Debon: a well in life really. You don't need to pull from that.

Kiki Wynns: Right. I do. I have a few jokes of course, about being a psychologist, but [00:50:00] I have never actually drawn from that.

And it's interesting. I guess, I don't know if it's like, no world, I'm you. That's very healthy

DeJah Debon: actually. Yeah. That you're like, this is my healthy zone out of that maca. Right. Yeah. And like, yeah, I think it's really good. Just

Kiki Wynns: ignore, I guess, have I just been inspired with something funny, but it just, it's never been in my.

Yeah. In my well of material I've come close to it with thinking about psychologist life where you have to time out when you go to the bathroom with that. Yeah. That few minutes in between and how your power eating weird things just to get calories in you. Yeah. I've thought about some of those things, but yeah.

Not the actual clients. Yeah. Yeah, that's, I mean,

Jen Bordeaux: that's cool. Like I, I'm just purely curious. Well, 'cause that's

DeJah Debon: what makes comedy funny is when you catch and identify something that you've experienced or you feel, or that you're ashamed or feel guilty about,

Kiki Wynns: about

DeJah Debon: or feeling. Right. Because we all do, right?

Yeah. Right. Like, yeah.

Kiki Wynns: [00:51:00] But that's also part of the, the draw to comedy without even realizing it is my practice life with clients. Because however many years, we said 25 years of seeing clients, I have used humor and laughter so much with clients. So it was this. Felt experience where even with very, very tough PTSD, multiple PTSD, complex trauma adult clients that I worked with for over a decade, like I would have moments with that client where one of us would just say something off the cuff and get a laugh and it was always respectful, but we would sometimes joke about very dark things and I found it so therapeutic.

Mm-hmm. And so did the client. And we used that humor for over a decade. So I have had that experience too, where I. If you find a way to do it in the right way. My whole life I have used [00:52:00] joking about a situation or having a, a timed remark about something to get the laugh as a little bit of relief that that leads to more growth and healing.

So I, I do think, I didn't think about that when I went into comedy. But now, as part of everything coming together, it's been cool to see how I was always joking, even with my staff doing the work we talked about. Mm-hmm. Where it's high. Stress intense work. My staff, my culture, my practice is one of joking and pranks and silliness.

Right now we have an egg hunt going on in the office where we've hidden them all over the office and there's a contest to see who can find the most eggs. And I keep finding them and getting excited, and then my colleagues say, well, you're not allowed to play. And then I get really sad and put 'em back.

But that culture even to say, Hey, if we're doing this demanding. Work. We have to have some kind of an outlet to laugh and joke and be silly and be immature, and then get back to the important work again.

Jen Bordeaux: Well, [00:53:00] it also, amongst all of that wonderfulness, it also is team building for the team. Right? Oh, that's so much fun.

So much fun. And I think, and now my current job, the, what I, I absolutely love is not as emotionally demanding and stressful, but prior to in family law, end Asia works in state law. Oh. And so in, in different ways, very heavy as well. Right. And, and within, I, I can speak from my previous, you know, firm that we had to have humor and like sarcasm Yes.

And all that kind of stuff, because if you didn't, you're gonna spend all day depressed and sad.

Kiki Wynns: For sure. So it, its healthy. How so? Healthy is my coping

Jen Bordeaux: mechanism.

Kiki Wynns: Oh,

DeJah Debon: yes. Right. So you're endless, you're a believer. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. You're in the, you're drinking the Kool-Aid. Oh, I have drank the Kool-Aid mix.

The Kool-Aid assist in getting the ingredients. Get your red tongue from just constantly Yes. Because yeah. No, it's in a million different ways. It saved me in life. Right, right. Crack that joke to, you know, use. [00:54:00] That's right. Yeah.

Kiki Wynns: Yeah, yeah. That we have to be careful. We can't do that constantly and avoid reality, but there's, there's a place for it for sure.

Yes. Yes. I'm such a, a big believer in that. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Oh yeah. Especially for conflict

DeJah Debon: resolution. Hell yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Kiki Wynns: Yeah. And, and actually by the way, that's why I love family law attorneys because I do think. Many of them. Of them. Your prior Yeah. Your prior life, y'all. Yeah. We're still on fan, fantastic terms, so Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. But I can say y'all yeah, but I mean, so many have that, A little bit of dark humor. Oh, yeah. Joking. They like their party lifestyle too, so we're all just immediate besties. They like their bourbon. They like to wine.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, in, in, in, you know, professional sectors like that, you are literally, you are seeing the deepest, darkest, intimate parts of a person's life, right.

That you don't, you don't. No, so to speak, but you, you get to know them on, on that particular level, right? Like you as an attorney, [00:55:00] as a therapist, like as an attorney, you have to to mm-hmm. You know, if, especially if there's court representation, you have to know the worst of the worst. There can't be surprises.

That's right. And then as a therapist, you wanna cultivate that environment that somebody, I don't wanna misspeak for you, but that I know what my therapist aim to do is to cultivate that environment that you, you, that your client feels comfortable enough to it, maybe not right away, but starts, you know, to share those pieces, right.

Because that is a safe space to do that. Right. So you, to balance that out as the professional, you've got to, you've got to have that outlet and humor as a hell of a lot healthier than drugs. So,

DeJah Debon: amen. Human hammer is a sign of intelligence.

The ability to, there's

Kiki Wynns: actually great research studies on that.

Absolutely.

DeJah Debon: Absolutely.

Kiki Wynns: Like high correlations between sense of humor and intelligence. Mm-hmm. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Smart lady across the media. That's right. That means if I got my PhD and then I became a comedian, I'm probably just under you got your comedy what's the guide sign?

Look that [00:56:00]

Joe Woolworth: my job. Oh. I just start using that. Yeah. I like

Jen Bordeaux: that. New material.

Kiki Wynns: Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: So speaking of we, we won't, we won't captivate too much more of your time here, but ladies laugh Lounge, you mentioned Mother's Day one coming up. Yes. And I know that when this episode airs, it will be just a couple of days before the show, but there are a lot, lot of Get

Kiki Wynns: your tickets now.

Yes. A lot of, they're about to sell out. A lot of last

Jen Bordeaux: minute people. Yes. That need something fun to do. And so please tell our listeners all about, uh uh, the Ladies Laugh Lounge. Episode this time or that show this time? Yeah. Mm-hmm. So this is episode

Kiki Wynns: four or show four. And yeah, I do think it's fun that we have a theme every time.

So this time is Mother's Day, but meaning very broadly all the types of mamas. So we've done some love that, cute promotional reels that have the mom of human kids. Well, actually I represented empty nester, which as y'all heard in my mm-hmm. Show is a new thing. I'm still in shock [00:57:00] about that. Then we have the dog mom, the plant mom actually cracks me up her, I don't know if you saw the promotional reel, but she's.

Basically nodding off in bed, falling asleep, and then she wakes up and quickly spritzes her plant that she's holding there with her. So it's like brainier. Yeah. It's like the aunt that is a mother figure or the foster mom. Mm-hmm. Like there's so many types of relationships that women can have with kids or other.

Needy. Yeah. Things in a nurturing

DeJah Debon: role or in a caring role. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kiki Wynns: So it's meant for still all the ladies and bring your mama, your daughter. I'm actually excited, hopeful that my mom will come and my daughters, which would be amazing. I've never had a show like that with my mom and my kids.

Jen Bordeaux: What did they That be neat. Yes. That would be, that's awesome. My mom would show her and my bonus side are retired and they will have just started their two month pulling their camper across the country situation. So she'll not be in town. But [00:58:00] I'm a very happy dog mom, so I'm happy to You're also a plant?

I'm a plant

Kiki Wynns: mom. I don't like middle. Are you really? But

Jen Bordeaux: not, not to that level. No. We just got to the level of me keeping them alive.

Kiki Wynns: So, so I'm a recent plant mom and I do think this is, sign of aging that when we just had that freeze warning recently, Uhhuh, I actually took heed and my husband and I collected all the flowers.

We brought 'em in for the night. I've never done that in my life, but I felt very safe. Good

DeJah Debon: job mom. Good job mom. Thanks.

Jen Bordeaux: Alive and well wanna a report. My goodness. They're all my, they're same. I feel that so much. 'cause I had just gotten to their porta lakas and so they're desert plants and so they can handle some cold.

But I brought them in and then there was one that's de knows what I'm talking about 'cause she actually helped my mom put it in the pot out back. But it's this tall pot and so I put bricks in the bottom of it so that it, because I didn't wanna, I didn't need to fill the whole thing with dirt.

Kiki Wynns: Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: So anyway, there's bricks in the bottom of it and I was, I kind of forgot about that part because I was like, oh, I'll just lift that up and bring it inside too.

I [00:59:00] was proved wrong very, very quickly. That thing was so heavy. Oh my gosh. So I, gosh, I was out there by myself, just like looked like a monkey hump in a football. Just like trying to move this thing like over by plant. Like put a sheet over it. Yes.

Kiki Wynns: Yeah. Yes. You were all in. Well. So, so yeah, we, on the stage, it'll be similar to what you guys saw with five other women.

Actually this time I did a bonus guest spot because there's this lady that's been in a recent show of mine. I have a couple local shows. I run Uhhuh and she was in a show in Lillington, RN County. Mm-hmm. I'm from Samson County. So your neighbor, Hey I mean, Harnett County has a wine bar now. What?

Yeah, so she was in it and she's a mom of three real estate tycoon. As we introduced her, she was so funny. I immediately went back to her and I said, Hey, I've already got my lineup for ladies' Laugh lounge, but you are so funny. Would you be interested in guest spots? So actually it's five plus a bonus.

Oh, cool. Nice. So it's a similar experience to what you guys had, but. [01:00:00] It'll be celebrating all the types of moms. One of the ladies is a repeat from last time. Everybody else says brand new to ladies lounge. So,

Jen Bordeaux: well, we would, deja and I well would highly recommend. Yes. It was such a great time. I don't, we didn't actually

Kiki Wynns: say the date, so, okay, so May 1st.

How perfect for a Mother's Day themed Love it Show. It's a Thursday night. So right before you get into the weekend mm-hmm. And may takes off with craziness, graduations and everything. Yeah, exactly. It's before all that craziness. So it's a perfect night to come out for a comedy show. It's a very reasonable seven 30 and then we try to have it wrapped up by nine.

Mm-hmm. You can be home watching white. Yeah. We went and grabbed a drink after drink after last show. Isn't it such a reasonable Yeah, it's, it's very reasonable. They're all the moms evening

Jen Bordeaux: high represented. It's, and it's at Goodnight's Comedy Club. Yes. In Raleigh, North Carolina. So four packs

Kiki Wynns: on sale now.

So grab three other people that are in your [01:01:00] friend group, your book club. It's actually really cool. We've had several offices do outings. We've had the family law. Firms come out with outings. We've had the mental health practices. I'm actually really secretly nerdily thrilled that my personal dermatologist has come to

Joe Woolworth: two

Kiki Wynns: shows this time.

There's rumors that my chiropractor. And his wife are coming so nice. You're gonna get your gynecologist there and you'll be all set. Guess what? I just saw her Monday. I gave her a flyer. She got incredibly excited. Awesome. And she said, I'm gonna try to come. So I'm already imagining doing my shout out.

Let me see. How many of my personal medical providers do we have? The dermatologist, the gynecologist, the chiropractor. Can I even raise their hand because of hipaa? I know, but probably if I called, I, I'm gonna say my dermatologist whooped. When I called her out before, she was like, she probably,

I, [01:02:00] it's okay. I, I, I called them out. But it, it has been cool that I never really intended it that way, but people do it as outings for their. Groups. My, my Bible study group came from church, so it's kind of like for any kind of gal group, just get everybody together and come out to laugh.

Jen Bordeaux: Awesome. And so May 1st, good Night's Comedy Club seven 30.

You go to Good Night's website to buy tickets. Super easy process. And, and for anybody that is not aware, the way the Goodnights works is you get an email that you've got your tickets. Mm-hmm. But then you have to go and actually, physically they still do physical tickets. So when you get there, you gotta go get those.

And in a certain amount of time, all the directions are in the email. But make sure you read it right. And so you can go there, you can find out more information about Kiki's Comedy Club on her Instagram at at Kiki's Comedy Club, or on Facebook if you wanna learn more about her practice. And all of the four locations, there's wind's, family, psychology, online.

So as we always end an episode with a guest, we have to go through our questions. Which one? We Okay. We've [01:03:00] already addressed with the the comedy world being filled with drama and mean people, they suck. We don't like them. Yeah. Can we all just get along and be nice and be for laughter? Apparently?

Kiki Wynns: No, that was a rude awakening, I thought.

Oh, I mean, I know this group and this group and this group has drama, but comedy, everybody's gonna be here for fun, but no

Jen Bordeaux: cutthroat too. Well, and that's kinda what Brett was talking about too, about the hustle culture, culture of comedy. And she was like, I don't really subscribe to that. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Our most heated question is a hot dog, a sandwich.

Kiki Wynns: So I wrote a quick answer for this Uhhuh because I am a fan of the podcast. Y'all listen to that podcast? The No. You know it's a podcast, right? No. Oh my God.

Jen Bordeaux: There's a podcast called Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Yes.

Kiki Wynns: What,

Jen Bordeaux: how do you not know that we need to get them on our podcast?

How, how did that fat

DeJah Debon: blown?

Jen Bordeaux: I, you know, I think it was a debate years ago in some place that I worked. Oh, no. And I never subscribed to the debate at all then, because I didn't, I [01:04:00] wanna know. I was too busy, whatever. But here we're, that's so

Kiki Wynns: funny. So I love the podcast. It's, it's an entire podcast debating.

That question and other crazy questions about food, y'all should. Oh, love. Yes. That's awesome. That is awesome. So maybe, maybe I already had a head start then and thinking this over's true. True. So I think I wrote No way because I am a purist. When it comes to a sandwich, then it needs to have bread and like actual square bread or am I on your side Deja?

Yes. Yes she is. She is in team. Yes. Not a sandwich and then some kind of meat or at least some cheese, something. It should just be square is my thing. But there are

DeJah Debon: separate pieces of bread, correct? They're not a roll cut in that. This

Kiki Wynns: is correct. Now, so if you took, and I've probably done this at some point when I was out of hotdog buns, if you took two pieces of bread and some hot dogs, you sliced them up, spread them across the piece of bread.

Maybe, yeah, but not the actual hotdog in a bun. No way. [01:05:00]

Jen Bordeaux: It's fine. Easy. I love all of the thought that goes into, because it's such a simple question. Right, but like every time. Yeah. Even though we've talked about it on our phone multiple times, no, we're still

Kiki Wynns: stuck on it. Can we talk about this one more time?

Is a hotdog sandwich? Like, and, and

Jen Bordeaux: so then to ask a guest, it just, it opens up the conversation over. I love it. Everybody, Joe Off Air was talking to his wife about it. I get like, my family members will bring it up and they'll be like, absolutely not. Or like, well, I don't know. I could see. So we're gonna keep on riding with it.

'cause we love all the different, it's, it's, everybody's response is funny. You should, but don't

Kiki Wynns: go too deep into that world because when you really start to get into the, is a. Blank a blank in the food world. You could just yourself, oh, we were, we said that a little bit.

Jen Bordeaux: With, with Brett, like is a, can a, is a taco a sandwich?

Oh yeah. If he fold a piece of pizza, does it become a taco? Like Yeah. I mean, just, I, that's what I'm saying. It gets

Kiki Wynns: to be dangerous,

Jen Bordeaux: so yeah. Just be careful. Careful. We'll stick with, with the hot dog sandwich when, yes. Okay. I'm very curious about this because one, another

Joe Woolworth: podcast has done 250 shows [01:06:00] on food questions.

Jen Bordeaux: They're very, I can't, very famous. Listen, I'm gonna, I'm gonna slide into their dms. I'm gonna, we can get them as again, man. That's amazing.

Joe Woolworth: Topics like, is cereal soup are boneless wings. Really? Wings is American cheese. Really? Cheese. Our poptarts Ravioli is, isn't that amazing? Brilliant. It was such a fun podcast.

Thank you so much. Good research for mentioning. Yes.

Jen Bordeaux: Okay. One another thing, and sometimes this changes from the time that somebody, so this is why, like, I used to send this questionnaire out like several days before the podcast, right? And then because of this question, I try to send it now just the day before.

Oh. But what's the last song that got stuck in your head? You said A bird song. And so I'm just like, wait, what? What?

Kiki Wynns: Literally. Okay, so I am afraid this is a sign of me being an old woman Now. I kid you not, my, my daughters are fascinated with this, and they couldn't stop laughing last weekend. I, I'm the one usually that lets the dog out in the back every morning.

Recently, the last week [01:07:00] or so, there's been a delightful bird song that is out there greeting me, an actual bird where he goes.

I love it. And I'm like, what is that? I recorded it. I became obsessed with it. It got stuck in my mind. I would sing it. Actual bird song. Yes. My daughters are musicians, very talented. So my youngest went to the piano and she started composing a piece around this bird song. And then as I would go through the house, I would start humming it and they would die laughing.

But now I hear it everywhere. I was just walking my dog today on the phone with my best friend and I said, wait, wait, sorry to interrupt, but listen. And she was like, oh no. I was like, wait, just listen. It's that bird song. And she was like, I'm worried about you, because now I feel like he's finding me. But do you know what?

I think it's, I've actually done some research on this, sent it to my family text. I think it's a Mockingbird. Oh, people say,

Jen Bordeaux: oh, that makes, yeah, it makes me think

Kiki Wynns: of Hunger Games and

Jen Bordeaux: like

Kiki Wynns: the mocking day. That's what I was thinking of. But if I hadn't been on this [01:08:00] crazy. Bird thing than the song that has been an earworm.

And y'all get the irony, right? A bird song with an earworm. Yes. Right, right. If, if I hadn't been on this bird kick, the one that has plagued me. I'm gonna say for a decade is Miley Cyrus's party in the USA. Oh, wow. Okay. Listen, that's a B It consumes me. It's a bop. That's funny. And it comes up probably on a weekly basis.

It's just, in my mind, I'm humming it. There's something obsessive and beautiful. So if the bird song wasn't there, it would be, would be partying in SA. Yeah. Love it. Yes, I love it. Have you ever had a guess. Talk about a nature, nature sound. No,

DeJah Debon: no. You are the first. You are the first.

Jen Bordeaux: And that killed

DeJah Debon: me.

That was amazing. Oh my God.

Jen Bordeaux: The, the beauty of like, the dynamic here with Deja and I too is that like she doesn't read the questionnaires at all, so she has no idea what the answer to me. So my, my laughter is a hundred percent. I love it. She, no idea what, like, is gonna be rambled about. Yeah. Like nothing.

She comes in completely blind. It's, it's fantastic. Oh, that's kind of fun. Yeah.

Kiki Wynns: I mean, you're the Type A first born. Yes. And [01:09:00] she's the, are you first born? No, she. Oh, I type,

DeJah Debon: type A first born I, what I am, I'm, because I'm in a healthy place. I've been through my life of therapy. I can relinquish control to my sister for this.

Oh yeah. And I get to sit back

Kiki Wynns: for the ride. Have a fabulous time. Well, I have Type A first born and I can't do that all the way. Have to teach me your ways. Yeah.

Jen Bordeaux: Yeah. I, I, yeah. I don't really know. It just, it works. Mm-hmm. Because I am definitely Type A. Yes. And like wanting to know like the things like, okay, I got the questionnaire.

Like I, like I was texting the other guest like last night like, have you done your questionnaire yet? I haven't gotten an email yet. Oh, interesting. What a great dynamic though. I feel like that's

Kiki Wynns: the successful duo to so many relationships. I'm married to a definitely not type A, definitely not. Go, go, go.

High energy. So I feel like we need that balance in life. Or we would all just crumble. Self combust. Yeah, yeah,

Jen Bordeaux: yeah. Gosh. Well I what our, it's so weird for me not to call you Dr. Wind. 'cause that's how I first met you. [01:10:00] It's like when

Kiki Wynns: you

Jen Bordeaux: meet your

Kiki Wynns: teacher and you're like, can I really call you Marcy? Yes, yes.

I'm gonna do it. You can call me Kiki. Kristen

Joe Woolworth: Wyn. Yes, you did it. Yay.

Jen Bordeaux: So, Dr. Kristen Wynn's. Kiki. Yes. The, the many facets that you are, thank you so much for your time and for joining us today. If you are interested in services from a psychological standpoint, do you guys, to clarify this for any listeners, do you guys only provide services for children and teens?

Kiki Wynns: No, we. Now that we've been around for so long, we've had all these adults sneak in where they'll call up and they'll say, oh, it seems like you're a child practice, but we you see adults. So we actually have a thriving caseload of adults, especially myself as I get older. Mm-hmm. I love working with adults, especially, I have couples and adult women, so we definitely, we will see adults even for testing too.

We actually do a ton of testing and adults still need testing too. Mm-hmm. So the [01:11:00] sweet spot is still kids and teens, but we a hundred percent have adults that have great experiences with us too. And they are welcome. Just like men are. Welcome at Ladies Lifeline. Yes.

Jen Bordeaux: Yes, absolutely. So you can, I mean, is it wins family psychology.com?

Is that the, the website? It's now bonus

Kiki Wynns: points. Do you know how to spell wins? W-Y-N-N-S. Boo. It nailed it. Yeah. A lot of people wanna leave off the s Yeah. And our website was just. Revised last year, so it's actually beautiful now with Oh, nice. Tons of free resources and content, so yeah, wins by my psychology.com.

They can get everything they need to get started with us or just kind of learn more about whatever

Jen Bordeaux: it is they're interested in. And you got, we could probably have a whole other podcast on this, but you have resources like No Wimpy Parenting, so like a lot of parenting. My book, we didn't even

Kiki Wynns: talk about

Jen Bordeaux: my book.

I got a book

Kiki Wynns: out there. Yeah. The No Wimpy Parenting Handbook. Yeah. And seminars and all of the things. So humor coaching, we didn't talk about that. But for people that want, I'm really [01:12:00] excited now businesses and organizations are hiring me to do the hybrid of my two loves, where I'll show up and do a, I did a training for a family law firm in Wilmington where they have me come for two days in December where I preach about how humor can help the workplace culture, their goals, their self care, their mental health.

So that's kind of my newest thing is the merge between the two worlds to offer that be able to marry. That's awesome. They can find out about that on either platform. The wins film psychology.com or Instagram, Kiki's Comedy Club or my. Kikis comedy club.com website. So many things. Just Google all places.

Google made the, and we'll,

Jen Bordeaux: yeah, and, and we'll definitely be tagging her and our, all of our stuff and on the website and everything, right, Joe?

Kiki Wynns: Yes.

Jen Bordeaux: Okay. Let's do it. Joe, I told you that new podcast, so you owe me one now. So yes, please go check her out on all of the avenues. If you are round and able, please go to her show please on May 1st.

You will not [01:13:00] regret it. It's, it's hilarious. And if your face will hurt. Yes. Yes. In the best way possible. I've before, right? Maybe after. Yeah, maybe after. And if you have a bird song or a different kind of song or a different kind of thought that is stuck in your head please give us a call. We do have the number you can call to leave a voicemail.

9 1 9 2 9 5 0 5 7 8. It does not ring. It goes straight to voicemail, so you don't have to risk actually talking to anyone. You can also text to that number and we will get it as well. And then you can listen to Deja and I or Deja and I and a guest. I'll talk about what your thought is or what your question is, and we would love to have you do that.

You give us material so we don't have to think so hard. So anything to deja close us out. You always do a phenomenal job. I

DeJah Debon: would just like to say I am deeply, deeply appreciative of your brain. Oh, thank you. As a person. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for what you do. I, I find it fascinating that.

You also get bird song stuck in your head. I sit on my porch every day and I watch the birds. Yes. And I, I love it these much. It [01:14:00] brings me harmony and peace. We're gonna have to stay in touch. Yes, girl. And I, I just, I, I think for everybody out there, therapy is a beautiful thing to do for yourself. I was just there today.

Love yourself. I just did mine on Monday.

Joe Woolworth: I was just there two days ago. Look at, we're so listen, follow Ari example.

DeJah Debon: Take care of you. Yes. We love you. We'll, we'll ramble at you later. [01:15:00]